Where Is the Love?

14 Jan

Wow.

So apparently there are a lot of people out there that are offended by either (1) my disdain of Walmart, or (2) somehow talking about my vagina and spastic colon wasn’t as offensive as complaining about having an eye infection…

Because I lost more than two-thirds of my subscribers two days ago!!

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!

I’m really hoping that it’s some sort of Feedburner glitch or somebody might be wallowing in self-pity tomorrow. I’m not naming names, but there is this one overly-sensitive and emotionally-erratic pregnant chick I know that is going to be crying her pink eyes out tomorrow over some Cold Stone Ice Cream (hear that, Mr. Bee? I’m still craving. GET MEH SOME ICE CREAM!!).

You know you wanna...

On a somewhat related note, today apparently is Official DeLurker Day, which means all you tens of people who haven’t deleted me from your readers should comment on the post tonight and tomorrow telling me, I don’t know, how totally awesome I am you are and whatnot.

Write whatever you want. What’s your favorite color/food/sexual position? If you weren’t doing what you are doing now, what profession do you think you’d be doing? What’s your worst phobia? (We don’t judge here. Fucking clowns.)

Oh, and all you peeps that somehow accidentally managed to delete me from your readers, well, um, COME BACK!! I promise I won’t ever talk about anything remotely disgusting, inappropriate, or “colorful” again.

You know, until tomorrow.

UPDATED: I just read online that it IS in fact a Google Reader/Feedburner fuck-up that is affecting my stats. I should have my normal 12 subscribers showing on my chart in no time. Phew!

But I think I still need some ice cream…

Song title: Where Is the Love? by Black Eyed Peas

17 Responses to “Where Is the Love?”

  1. Kassia January 14, 2010 at 7:52 pm #

    I’m still here!! And I think you’re awesome. Honest I do. I’m not just saying that so you don’t stop writing and then I’d have nothing to read while breastfeeding or pooping. Yeah, I bring my blackberry to the bathroom with me. Is that odd? Hope not. Cuz I don’t want to stop. But if you think I should, I will. But only if you think so. But then when would I have time to read your blog? And you should write more often. I could use the reading material. I’m trying to up my fiber intake. Guess I could just read while nursing the baby. But then what would I read while pooping? The hubs only has gun’s and ammo magazines in there. You see the dilemma.

    Red chocolate missionary teacher natural disasters.

  2. Mama Bee January 14, 2010 at 7:55 pm #

    Kassia,

    I super ((heart)) you!

    And I totally read blogs while pooping too.

    Hopefully I’ll have more poo-worthy reading for you now that I’m having regular OB/GYN appointments for Cletus. I mean, what is UP with the wipe-wipe-spread the junk-pee-pee in the cup-pee-label your cup situation? (read in your best Seinfeld voice).

  3. Kristen January 14, 2010 at 7:56 pm #

    Oh gawd, I can’t imagine anyone liking WalMart more than this blog. They’d have to be out of their mind insane. Glad it’s just a glitch!

    I love your blog. Especially the new preggo posts. Everyone I tell about this blog loves it too. Maybe they’ll delurk!

    My phobia? Library books.

    See, who’s the crazy one now???

    • Mama Bee January 14, 2010 at 7:58 pm #

      LMAO! Okay, I have to know: is it the smell? The possibility of them being chock full of bodily fluids? Did I just make your phobia worse? ;)

  4. donna January 14, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

    never left, just being a naughty lurker lately. Hi!

  5. Kassia January 14, 2010 at 8:07 pm #

    I’m so glad you don’t mind joining me in the bathroom! I don’t update often or let much of my real humor out (In-laws read) but my kid is pretty cute.

    Seriously agree on the ‘clean catch’ peeing! My OB’s bathroom was so small that my knees touched the wall in front and to one side of me when I sat and was one of the home-style toilets that doesn’t have the space in the front to fit your hand and the cup through. Add a huge belly and enormous thighs to that and get ready to pee on your hand. Every week. Good times.

  6. Jenne January 14, 2010 at 8:19 pm #

    I love your blog and look forward to my daily chuckle while reading it. You really should look into being a stand-up because you are really funny. I don’t care what anyone says. Tell Mr. Bee you need the Gotta Have Size right now after all you are carry Cletus and he needs his sugar fix too.
    Red/Black, anything bread, missionary, caterer, any kind of bug

  7. Sarah January 14, 2010 at 9:04 pm #

    Red. French Fries. On top. Nail Polish Color Name Picker Outer. Breaking my teeth and little fish (not big scary fish… I swam with sharks and it was all good but the little snorkel-friendly fishies send me into full on panic mode).

  8. Pearl Wisdom January 14, 2010 at 9:48 pm #

    im more of a stalker than a lurker, but can i play too?

    black sushi 69 ( <– hey! i think i just came up with a great name for a band!)

    lady who lunches (that's a profession, right?)

    being in a car accident

    i super double triple uber heart you and i think i should get some kind of trophy for being your most devoted and oldest stalker. you have my address.

  9. Rachael January 14, 2010 at 11:16 pm #

    These days my favorite position is the one where I do the least work. Isn’t pregnancy awesome?

    My favorite color is cerulean. It’s blue, but like… awesome blue.

    My husband made me a big plate of bacon for dinner tonight because I’m sick and it’s what I wanted. That’s why he is awesome. For now…

  10. Arla-Shay January 15, 2010 at 7:29 am #

    I feel far more comfortable creepily lurking in the shadows. But I’ll poke my head out to say: I LOVE YOU, MAMA BEE! OK, going back in…

  11. Midori January 15, 2010 at 9:05 am #

    Love you – you made me feel famous last year. I hate Walmart too – again, an in-law connection – they call it “Wally’s” and love it, which makes me cringe.

    Black/carbs/getoffmeyousickbastard/clown(psych!)/sharks.

  12. Erin January 15, 2010 at 10:55 am #

    I don’t consider myself a lurker because I always make stupid comments!

  13. Mira January 15, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    Ok, sex? What is that? I asked the OB yesterday if the herbal stuff to induce labor was really useful and he said the single most effective labor inducer was sex. Sigh, really? Can I just lay there? Cuz I SO do not want to have sex. Like ever. Again. Ever.

    You rock, and I guess we’re all sitting on the pot reading. Pretty clearly. Your humor fits well in the bathroom.

  14. Mira January 15, 2010 at 10:59 am #

    Ok I think it’s hilarious that your live traffic feed has someone from “Puyallup, Washington” on it. How would YOU pronounce it? Your blog has poo everywhere.

  15. Keegan Mays-Childers January 15, 2010 at 2:44 pm #

    Yay! No one went away! I think I was your 70th fan or something, and that’s as close to “special” as I’ve ever been. So thanks!

    Red/chocolate/as long as the ending is happy, who cares!/ stay at home parent/ it’s a toss up bet… no, SNAKES. I HATE SNAKES!

  16. Shannon January 15, 2010 at 9:05 pm #

    I was totally in the mood for some ice cream… until I saw this pic.

    That dude’s tongue is creeping me out…

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