Where Do The Children Play?

1 May

Anyone else out there notice that the local playground looks like an apocalyptic scene from Mad Max?

First, you’ve got the social breakdown that naturally occurs when 20+ children under the age of 3 are within 20 feet of one another. Next, you’ve got a Thunderdome-esque Big Toy that threatens to kill your 2 year old who can hardly handle the transition from linoleum to carpet without falling on her face. Add in a few older kids who definitely have a “two toddlers enter, one toddler leaves” mentality, and you’ve really got a recipe for disaster on your hands.

I mean, who designs these playgrounds anyway?! Would it kill them to enclose the play area with a fence? Or barbed wire? That’s electrocuted?

And why, dear God, WHY do they insist on creating these death traps for my child to play on? Does the Big Toy really need to be THAT big? What about a Not-Really-That-Impressive Toy that doesn’t tower 150 feet in to the air?

Seriously tall.

I am TOTALLY *that mom* who refuses to let her toddler climb up that monstrosity by herself. I mean, do these other parents see how high up this shit is?!


Every time I climbed up there with Bee, I peed myself a little.

And had a massive coronary.

But the peeing was more embarrassing.

But not unexpected.

Even with the heart attacks and wetting myself, the thing that really made me blow my top (once, only once) was this pack of wild animals older children that were running around the play area and pushing little kids out of their way. Sweet baby Jesus, when they pushed Bee around on the Big Toy (of all places!) and I heard one kid say “outta the way!”…so help me God, I think a divine presence must have stopped me from turning in to the Hulk again.

The Incredible Mama Bee Hulk

Don’t get me wrong, I did yell at the kids. Briefly.

But I figure the real solution is just training Bee to be a little less Timid Freida and a little more Mad Max-ish.

We just came for the gasoline.

Song title: Where Do The Children Play? by Cat Stevens

5 Responses to “Where Do The Children Play?”

  1. Sarah May 1, 2009 at 4:10 pm #

    That view from the “drop off” thing puts the fear of God in me and always has- I fear Joey is going to launch himself out of there at some point. Who designs these things???? And who is the idiot that only has 2 toddler swings at such a busy park? They should line the playground with them!

  2. Yaya May 1, 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    This is the difference b/n first born and fourth born! I’m a nanny-I’ve experienced it all. First born I am very protective about. Currently-4th born-just don’t have the time to stress and she is 11 months old and so independent!

  3. Betts May 1, 2009 at 6:29 pm #

    I hate to tell you this, but the fear and protectiveness won’t stop… even when she can walk across the floor without falling.

  4. Erica May 1, 2009 at 6:33 pm #

    I agree..Everytime kaile climbs that thing i freak out then i have to follow her up the toys i am so exhausted. i thought bringing your child to the park should give you a moment of sanity…the toys are so dirty. I figured they could power spray them or something.

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