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Trying To Be Cool | Mom to Bee

Trying To Be Cool

8 Aug

I should preface this post by explaining that I have a theory about people. My theory is that if someone insists they are something, they probably aren’t.

Example: Someone who constantly proclaims to be cool, probably isn’t.

I bring this up because this evening, while surfing online for some local Mommy Groups, I came across this page:

Eastside Cool Mommies

I shit you not, these ladies (and I use the term lightly) have Attendance rules, RSVP policies, Sick rules, Drama policies, and numerous disclaimers. Breaking any of these “rules” can risk your “membership” in said group. And puh-lease read their “Welcome” page:

Before you request to join our group, please take a moment to peruse our “About Us” page in its entirety. It may seem like there are a lot of “rules” but we pride ourselves on having a VERY active group, and we have found that this structure helps us to achieve and maintain that.

In addition, prior to gaining full access to our group, Prospective Members will be asked to answer a few detailed questions by telephone or email, as well as meet with one of the organizers. If you were referred to this group by a current member, please don’t forget to mention this, so as to avoid delay in approval.

This policy is in place to ensure the safety of our group.

This will also give you, the new member, the chance to see if this group is REALLY for you. Once a new member is approved, she will be required to attend an event within the first 2 weeks of membership. Failure to do so, may result in removal from the group.

Well, shit. If that ain’t welcoming, I don’t know what is! And god forbid you “lurk” on the site. I’m pretty sure they will put a hit out on your life.

I’m sure I’m violating their “Drama” policy, but what a bunch of Nazi Moms!!

Song title: Trying To Be Cool by Agent Felix

4 Responses to “Trying To Be Cool”

  1. ro August 8, 2008 at 8:23 am #

    OMG. It’s sorority rush all over again. I bet they do picture boards and “pro/con” each potential cool mom to death before handing over a golden ticket (contingent upon attendances at an event within two weeks, of course).

    Wow. I am kinda speechless here. (Well…except for what I just said…)

  2. Pearl August 8, 2008 at 9:28 am #

    I was thinking sorority too! I understand wanting to protect the safety of their members, but, helllloooo… overkill? Here’s a tip: that balding guy that shows up in the white van with duct tape over the windows? He is not a cool mom.

    And why does the picture of the group founder look like she is drunk and about to flash her boobs?

  3. AndBabyWillMake4 August 8, 2008 at 6:35 pm #

    Well at least we all know they aren’t as cool as they think they are. Pretentious much?

  4. Vicki @ notsosahm.wordpress.com August 9, 2008 at 1:48 pm #

    Ok, I so had the Mommy Sorority thing in my head when I clicked on the comment button, but I see that I’m not the only clever reader :) They’ve only been around since June; I can just smell the drama boiling. Oh wait, they have a Drama Policy. This has got to be the UN of Mommy clubs.

    Oh, and visit my blog more! I swear I’m funny. I insist it. I really am hilarious. (Thanks for stopping by today!)

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