The Sound of Silence
23 Feb
I feel like there is (at least) one necessary evil of pregnancy. I have deemed it “The Veil of Silence.”
TVOS occurs when you see a friend/acquaintance/stranger who you are pretty sure is pregnant, but in fear of placing your gigantic foot in your mouth, you refrain from any sort of congratulations or pregnancy talk.
I totally get why TVOS is necessary and, in fact, polite and considerate, but it also is really irritating when you see someone that is REALLY pregnant and you really want to share in their happiness but you have to keep your big, fat piehole shut because you might just insult them in to a shame spiral if they just have a food baby.
Take today, for example. There is a girl sitting roughly 5 feet away from me in Panera with a cute big prego belly. Of course, since I am definitely in the “Shit, that girl has let herself GO” department of pregnancy belly, I don’t expect anyone to ask me about it. But this chick is PREGNANT. Surely she wouldn’t mind if I congratulated her or asked her how far along she is in an attempt of Womb Parasite Comradery?
But no. I am as chicken as everyone else.
Generally, my rule is that unless I see your baby’s head crowning, I’m not asking how far along you are. Because it’s just my luck that I would pick the one random woman with a glandular problem, right?
UPDATED: Fuck, Random Chick even just mentioned an ultrasound!! Begin Mission To Insert Myself In To Their Conversation….NOW
UPDATE #2: Last year I was working an event with a DJ I hadn’t seen in a while. We were trying to figure out our last event together, using our Children’s birthdates as reference. He replies, “Oh, well you must have been pregnant because you were a lot bigger than you are now.” When I looked up the date later? Yeah, I had been like 4 months POST baby. Meow meow.
Song title: The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel
Oh my god, I just spit out my lunch laughing about the “food baby.”
I’m just hoping no one asks me how far along I am *after* I have the baby!!
I have been the one that has asked someone that had already given birth 3 months prior…TOTAL NIGHTMARE! I am not a little person so imagine how horrific I felt thinking of how I’d feel if that had been asked of me. It was a giant lesson so I NEVER ASK.
I have to agree with all these policies. I worked in a public facing retail job for years, and have made every pregnancy mistake you could make. I eventually learned that one should just keep one’s mouth completely shut. That is the only safe way about it. Unless they’re crowning, then I think you’re probably good to go.
i wish some of TVOS would trickle down to northern cali. everyone from the grocery store clerk to dads at preschool feel completely comfortable commenting on my belly. granted, i started showing at 12 weeks, but still… does that mean it’s okay to ask me if i’m sure i’m not having TRIPLETS?!?! aholes. i even had a guy at the farmers market ask me, “when the baby gets hungry, does it pull on the cord?” complete with a hand pulling motion and everything. GAAGGG!!!
I worked at Safeway and had to wear an unflattering apron. Add to that the fact that I store ALL of my fat in my tummy area. I was asked weekly how far along I was. It was totally awkward having to admit that I wasn’t pregnant and I didn’t want the old ladies that asked to be embarrassed, so i just used to smooth out the front of the apron, hold my breath tightly, and mutter something about the apron being puffy before I ran and hid behind the register.
Ugh.
If I ever get the chance to be pregnant I am going to wear a sign from day one that says “I’M PREGNANT” so that people can congratulate me daily….
That wasn’t me was it? If so, I was misquoted.