Terrorist or Toddler

12 Sep

Anyone else out there feel like all they do is scold and enforce their rules on to their children?

Ever since transitioning from the terrible twos to the even more terrible threes, I feel like my vocabulary has been completely limited to: “no!” “what did I just say?!” and “one more time and you are going in time out.”

Not surprisingly, with the arrival of Bug, things like “don’t poke your brother in the face!” have also been added to the list.

Just last Friday, Mr. Bee stayed home with the baby so Bee and I could run some quick errands and go out to dinner. A little Girl Date, if you will. But I swear I spent the entire evening grunting for her to use her inside voice and oh-my-god-eat-your-goddamn-pancakes-or-else.

Some how this wasn’t the holding hands and braiding hair mommy-daughter moment that I had envisioned.

Maybe I was asking too much from a dinner at IHOP…

But I did have a fantastic parenting moment when I realized, upon watching a gaggle of children running through a parking lot (and their moms doing jack shit about it), that I totally take Bee’s occasional (key word) obedience for granted.

And as I loaded her in to the car, I calmly explained how those children were being bad for running in to the street and their mommies were not good mommies for letting them.

Yet another Mother of the Year Nomination moment for me.

Maybe both of us could use a time out or two…

Song title: Terrorist or Toddler by Larry the Cable Guy

6 Responses to “Terrorist or Toddler”

  1. kellie September 13, 2010 at 7:55 am #

    Nice you went out for some Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity didn’t you??

    And I hate to tell you this but we skated through the 2′s and it was 3′s (all year long) that was a battle for us.

    BUT if it makes you feel any better as soon as he turned 4 it was like Jekyll and Hyde!!

    AND since Bee is well (advanced) I think you should only have about 6 months of this…. was that a silver lining or what?

  2. Jenne September 13, 2010 at 8:59 am #

    Dear Mom,
    I hate to burst your bubble but as the mother of 4 ages 21, 16, 14 and 12 let me tell you your vocabulary won’t change any time soon. I still tell my oldest “The answer is no and I’m not telling you that again! Why do you keep asking the same question when you know the answer already? and my personal fav You’ll do it because I said so, I AM the parent and you ARE the child!!!”

  3. CoreyAnn September 14, 2010 at 10:36 am #

    I think that I agree that Bee is generally well-behaved and a gentle breeze compared to most child tempests. She is a good girl who maybe is just pushing your buttons lately to get attention since the arrival of Bug.

    But I agree with Jenne that these problems don’t go away, children just increase their vocabularies for debate and their ability to manipulate (or attempt to) :P After already raising 4 (currently 24, 22, 20, & 18) before my B, I can say that teen tantrums are just the same as toddler tantrums!

  4. Amy FB September 14, 2010 at 11:50 am #

    I am right there with you. We had tears and time out before 7 am today. Yes, I spend much of my time saying “because I said so” “I said no” and “even though you asked nicely the answer is still no”. It makes me tired just thinking about it. And sometimes I know I need a time out…

  5. Amanda @ My Everday September 14, 2010 at 8:20 pm #

    I think I expect way too much of my three year old sometimes. I don’t realize until today at preschool his teacher says, “there was a pinching incident.” I say, “Who did he pinch?!” The teacher gasps and throws her hand out to me, “Oh no! HE was the one who was pinched!” I felt sad but at the same time glowing with pride. She said he’s an angel. Apparently he’s always an angel for others, he just loves to pick at me.

  6. Kyra September 21, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

    You are hilarious! I stumbled upon your blog and you crack me up, girl! I love it! Usually I am the stalking type and don’t leave comments, just lurk around but I had to tell you how much you made my pathetic day today ;)

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