Stumped

8 Apr

I’m sure it’s been clear to my tens of readers that lately I have been kind of full of the writers block. Let’s be honest, I used to post at least four times a week and now I’m averaging…

(does math in head)

(still doing math)

(resorts to computer calculator only to be distracted by all the pretty colored buttons)

Okay, so let’s just say, I don’t post as often as I should. For that, I’m sorry. You know, for not posting for you and that you don’t have anything better to do then read this POS blog! Har har.

Originally, my excuse was that Cletus sucked all the energy, creativity, and ability to not open my eyes without wanting to vomit all over you right out of me.

For like four months.

It was awesome.

You know, if you use the old Pig Latin definition of “wesome-ay”, meaning “of the horribleness. See also: wanting to die and/or poke ones eyeballs out with dull spoons.”

But for the last couple months, it hasn’t been all that bad. I’m definitely in the “nom nom nom I like food” stage of pregnancy, which, let’s be honest, is pretty fucking rad. You know, until I have to get on the dreaded scale at the doctor’s office.

Oh, and how do I know that I’m officially in the “nom nom nom” stage of the pregnancy? Well, I think it hit me the other day while I was peeing and a raisin fell out from one of my belly rolls (or cleavage, because let’s be honest, Mama ain’t used to having, well, ANY cleavage). See, I had eaten some raisins like HOURS prior to this pee session.

Yummy, huh? I eat so much that I can literally hide food in my clothes and/or rolls without finding it for long periods of time.

Sexy, I know.

But besides finding Thanksgiving meals in my belly button, things have been going great around Das Bee Haus. No explosive pooping (don’t get me wrong, peeing is a whole different issue). (Almost) no reasons or situations that make with wish for Xanax. Bee is relatively not monsterish most days. I’m finally prego with my long awaited second (and final!) squishee widdle bebe. I am loving Mr. Bee to bits and pieces. Even in this shit economy, we’re doing great.

Which is all, well, great. You know, for me.

But for the blog? Not so much! I mean how much do you want to hear about how I shit rainbows and ride unicorns to the land of the blueberries every day? Even *I* don’t want to hear or write about it and it’s my life.

So while everything is peachy keen in the land of happy fuzzy love balls, you can’t really blame me for wishing and hoping for a little explosive poop action once in a while, right?

The things I do for you people.

Song title: Stumped by Caterwaul

One Response to “Stumped”

  1. Pearl Wisdom April 10, 2010 at 11:05 pm #

    Personally, I would love to read a post about you shitting rainbows. Especially if it included pictures. Or even one of your hand drawn cartoons.

    Now if you will excuse me, I have to go eat my 6th meal of the day. Nom, nom, nom….

Leave a Reply

UA-5354347-4