Sick to My Stomach

1 Oct

Funny story.

Remember that one time, long long ago, when I said I was totally getting better.

Yeah. Um, not so much.

Apparently the shits were just scared off momentarily by the menstrual cramps.

And Keegan and Greg, you wonder why you are like the only two boys who comment/read the blog? (Please reference previous sentence.)

As a dear friend suggested, it is highly likely that my ass and my vagina have decided to gang up against me. The latest theory is that they are angry about their personal bizzle being published on the internet for everyone to read and so they are rebelling against me until I cease and desist.

But the joke’s on them, because it simply gives me more to blog about, which is more than a little disturbing for me to admit to myself.

Besides the constant use of the toilet, I don’t feel half bad. I am getting a bit dehydrated and am totally dependent on my eye drops because my contacts are getting really dried out. Yum.

The silver lining to the shits and the blindness is that I’ve officially lost about four pounds this week!

I know, I know, you aren’t really supposed to depend on bulimia a stomach bug as a reliable dieting plan, but I’m only about one and a half more viruses away from my goal weight!

I should get on the Wii Fit today just to weigh myself and tell that chubby little Mii character to fuck off.

Song title: Sick to My Stomach by Siegel-Schwall Band

3 Responses to “Sick to My Stomach”

  1. Betts October 4, 2009 at 12:53 pm #

    Ooooo, I want Wii Fit and a stomach virus/quicky weight loss plan and some blog fodder. Do you realize how lucky you are?

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