Right in the Palm of Your Hand

8 Sep

Do the Puyallup!!Don’t forget to enter my Giveaway to win free admission tickets to the Puyallup Fair! All you have to do is CLICK HERE and tell me your favorite part about the fair. Contest ends TONIGHT, so hurry up and enter while there is still time!!

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Thank you so much to all the SITSas that visited Mom to Bee yesterday (and today!) I had almost 500 visitors yesterday, which is so insane it actually blows my mind in to tiny little plankton bits. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Oh, and come back soon!

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During our trip to Seaside, Sissy and I decided that our money was better spent not on salt water taffy, but on some more memorable entertainment.

Oh, wait.

Yeah, we bought a little taffy too.

I'm already getting sick of it...

Seriously, people. I’m pretty sure my stomach is lined with taffy at this point. And the above photo is the taffy we have LEFT from the trip. Oy.

After we bought a metric fuck-ton of salt water taffy, we decided to blow invest our money in a psychic reading.

This was my first “psychic” experience, save for watching that douchebag Edwards on television. Needless to say, I was a bit skeptic. I was hoping that Allison Duboix herself would pop out of the shadows and read my fortune, but instead it was some thirty-something year old chick who had just gotten back from a day at the spa. Couldn’t she at least dressed up like that creepy old lady from Poltergeist or something? Is that too much to ask?

Here are a few things that she mentioned to me during my palm reading:

You have a loving mother and a loving father but they were never meant to be together.
I guessing that the psychic was banking on America’s divorce rate, but yeah, my parents are still together. Awkward…

Your friends are very important to you and you give a lot. But when you need them to be there for you, they aren’t there.
Okay, so this kind of struck a nerve. I totally feel like this all the time. Which is probably just self-absorbed of me. And honestly, sometimes I almost hope that my friends will have some big problem that they need help with just so I can show them how much I care about them and that I’m a super good friend who will be there for them in their time of need.

Or, you know, hypothetically, you could be the kind of friend to completely forget about them when you promise to bring them food after they’ve just had a baby. Three different times (to three different friends). Hypothetically.

So, tomato, to-mah-to, I guess.

Your husband will get a promotion soon.
Which is kind of like, duh, since he does get promotions like every other day.

You will have five children.
But don’t worry, I’ll have twins that will miscarry so yay for me! Thanks for the up-beat future outlook, lady.

You will move soon.
Okay, kind of creepy since we did just move last year in to our new home…

This is your second life. You once came close to death but the good Lord saved you.
Hmmm. I think the closest to death I’ve gotten is clogging my arteries will all that god-damn taffy. And really? I’m pretty sure that The Big Guy, if he’s not too busy battling The Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, has underlined my name twice on his shit list.

You and your husband are soul mates and will never be separated or divorced.
Uh, duh. When I find someone like Mr. Bee who will put up with my foul mouth, crazy moods, and constant nagging, I’m never letting that dude get away.

After the palm reading, we realized that the psychic’s studio was also conveniently an airbrushing tattoo stand (it screamed of authenticity, I tell ya). Since my little niece was going to get a little arm tattoo, I decided to join in on the fun.

Sissy and I thought it would be hilarious to get a tramp stamp so Mr. Bee would think I was super sexy. But which one…which one…

Star Wars Storm Trooper Tramp Stamp

See? I told you we are soul mates.

Song title: Right in the Palm of Your Hand by Alan Jackson

11 Responses to “Right in the Palm of Your Hand”

  1. sissy2mom2b September 8, 2009 at 9:03 am #

    Hehehe! I still think that the Spock tattoo was funnier. You failed to mention that the airbrush tattoo guy was the husband of said “psychic”. Good times, good times…

  2. BethP September 8, 2009 at 10:06 am #

    Ooooh all that taffy looks so good!

  3. Heather September 8, 2009 at 11:37 am #

    Hmm…I’m intrigued. I’ve always wanted to go see a psychic or palm reader or whatever but never have gone through with it. Interesting, if nothing else! :)

  4. SuZ September 8, 2009 at 11:48 am #

    Sorry I’m late, but I wanted to tell you Congrats on your SITS day!

  5. Pearl Wisdom September 8, 2009 at 11:55 am #

    OMG, IMG! that is the most awesome tramp stamp EVAR! let’s see… what would my husband prefer as my tramp stamp? a picture of a tig welder? HAWT. in more ways than one.

    okay, my mother is all about psychics, so i have been to far too many psychic “faire”s to count and i have had every type of psychic reading imaginable… ive even had someone read my foot (EW!)… not one single reading has been even mildly remarkable. maybe the brush with death your psychic was referring to was your encounter with the psycho driver?

  6. kristen September 8, 2009 at 12:53 pm #

    I totally love that tramp stamp. What man wouldn’t be proud of his wife.
    So now I totally want some taffy. I have actually had a few ‘readings’.

    Being featured is totally fun. I’m featured today and I am addicted to my comments. I love them!

  7. Meg September 8, 2009 at 3:32 pm #

    Freaking awesome tramp stamp.

    I had my palms read once. I learned that I do in fact have a poker face, because I did not laugh out loud once.

  8. Leah September 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm #

    Taffy is so crazy… Long story short… son allergic to eggs… egg in taffy… son ate taffy at a parade.. me and son wore taffy barf home…

    Never been to a palm reader… I am pretty much sure they are all frauds.

  9. Aunt Becky September 8, 2009 at 9:16 pm #

    I love, love, love taffy. Now I am anxious for some, which is sad, because we SO don’t have good taffy here.

  10. Jen @ Sophie's Nest September 9, 2009 at 1:18 am #

    Getting copious amounts of salt water taffy is ALWAYS the best part of a trip to the ocean.

    Love the choice of tramp stamp. I’ve got one. Sadly.. not airbrushed. It says agape. My wildly observant 17 year old self didn’t quite realize that agape (a⋅ga⋅pe 2. ah-gah-pey.: unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; brotherly love.), might be confused with agape (a⋅gape
    1. uh-geyp.: wide open) and is, most definitely, in the best spot ever- directly above my ass.

  11. Mrs. J September 9, 2009 at 2:14 pm #

    Thanks for specifying that you bought a metric fuck ton of taffy – because at first glance your picture looked like a standard shit ton. :)

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