Pink and Glitter – Part One

22 Nov

Well, ladies and gentleman, it’s that time of year again…

Time for the Seattle Goodwill’s Glitter Sale!

Except that the sale was really the weekend before last.

What? You thought I was gonna warn you ahead of time so you could steal some cool designer clothes out of my fatty, sweaty fingers? Amateur.

Sissy, Arla and I decided that this year, we meant business. So we began our Sale Extravaganza fourteen hours before the doors opened with a Pre-Glitter Sale Sleepover.

Besides just wanting to escape our families (meow meow since the sleepover was at my house!), we also needed to construct our uniforms for this year’s sale.

Oh yes. You read that correctly. We wanted to match. And by “match” I mean “wear some hideously ugly tee shirts depicting our undying love for all things Glitter Sale…ish.”

So out came the matching hot pink tee shirts, the iron-on decals (homemade! Jealous?) and rhinestones. And puffy paints. You can’t forget the puffy paints.

recessionistas

In fact, I’m pretty sure Sissy’s technique was to layer on as many puffy paints as she could to distract from…all the different layers of puffy paints. I’m not saying it worked.

Oh, and did I mention that we all had on hot pink feathery hair clips?

Feathers or radioactive spider?

And then there was our names on the back…

I'm so fat
Song title: Pink and Glitter by Tori Amos

So you could probably guess that we sort of stood out a bit. We initially thought that not that many people would notice because surely we would be in the very front of the line. I mean, we were planning on waking up at 4 o’clock in the morning and being in line by 5:30 at the latest.

Reality struck and we didn’t end up there until ten after 6…

And there were ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE in front of us.

What the what?!

I guess some stupid blogger warned people to get there at 6 in the morning. Seriously, was this chick smoking crack?! Why in the world would you warn people?!?!

Sigh.

Eventually, the line looked more like this:

101_0002

It was roughly five seconds after taking this photo that we realized, “Oh shit. The media is here. What if we are caught on television with these hideous outfits on?!?!”

Wow. It’s a good thing that no one does anything embarrassing like SAYING FUCK ON LIVE TELEVISION to get this clip on YouTube…

Well, maybe no one noticed?

My five seconds of fame

Son of a…

Next time, we’ll discuss all our finds and why we always run in to people who don’t seem to understand that we’re trying on disgusting dresses as a joke.

Song title: Pink and Glitter by Tori Amos

4 Responses to “Pink and Glitter – Part One”

  1. Aly November 22, 2010 at 11:08 am #

    I want more info on the girl with the bitch face.

  2. Chris November 22, 2010 at 12:24 pm #

    Am I the Gentleman referenced in the first sentence of this post?

    Also, we were expecting a Fire and Ice II party invitation by now…did we not make the invite list?

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