Patiently Waiting

18 Aug

This last weekend, Mr. Bee and I were honored to witness a wonderful friend of ours get married. The wedding was absolutely stunning.

I mean, it was a little embarrassing for the bride. A beautifully tented reception with an open bar, delicious food, a handmade engraved cigar bar (made by the father of the groom for the event), followed by dancing and a fireworks display? All hosted at the bride’s parents’ home on the water?

Can we say ghetto?

I mean, really people. We were really slumming it this weekend.


We tried to class the place up the best we could, but there only so much two people can do, you know?

I spent days and days searching for the dress I would wear to this event. Ann Taylor? Nothing. Banana Republic? Nothing. J.Crew? Nothing (that doesn’t cost $800 plus an ovary).

Finally I hit Nordstrom and found a dress that not only included the wedding color (purple) but unbeknownst (that’s totally a word right? Fuck you, spell check.) to me until this weekend, was actually the exact wedding colors!

With an outfit picked out and a few days to the big event, everything was going swimmingly until I realized…

It’s August.

As in we-started-trying-to-get-pregnant-NINE-fucking-months-ago August.

It’s actually gone by fairly quickly. When May came along and we had our trip to Vegas, I had expected to be about 3 or 4 months pregnant by then, but hey – now I could drink in Vegas so happy, happy, joy, joy for me, right?

Then came July and I needed to get a colonoscopy. Since you can’t be pregnant and have the procedure, we tried to fit it in to the schedule without missing an opportunity to knock me up. Well, that didn’t work out so well and we ended up missing our window of opportunity (or as I like to call it the “hump like bunnies” window) for July.

And now it’s August.

And I had always just assumed that the dress I would wear to this wedding last weekend would be a maternity dress. In fact, I kind of assumed it would be a LARGE muu-muu styled maternity dress, because (duh) I would be super pregnant by now.

Well, wrong.

And before you go all “Oh. Em. Gee. Things totally happen for a reason.” (because, gag) or “It’s totally because you’re fer reals stressing about it. You should just goooo with the floooow.” (because shutthefuckup, kthnxbei), I have to say that I’m handling it pretty well. Obviously.

Okay, so “Patiently Waiting” might be an overstatement…

But here is something to consider: Since we’ve started trying, which (side note) is kind of an understatement, right? I mean, if I “try” to do the dishes, it doesn’t involve strategic planning, timing, daily temperature taking, charting of said temperatures and it hardly ever requires much lube.*

Anyway, since we’ve been “trying”, not one, not two, but THREE of my close mommy friends have give birth to their little bundles. And at least one other mommy friend just found out that the goddamn Stork will be visiting her in about 9 months.

I can’t help but think that every month that goes by means my Bee and my (hopefully) future Baby Numero Dos will be further and further apart in age. I know it’s not the end of the world (quoting Aunt Becky, “SOME PEOPLE DON’T HAVE ARMS!! BE HAPPY THAT YOU AT LEAST HAVE ARMS!”), but I always thought that three years would be the furthest apart I would want the kids. Sissy and I are three years and one month apart – exactly what Bee and Bebe Numero Dos would be if I were pregnant now – and I just think that timing is perfect.

But, I guess in my heart, I know that we’ll get knocked up with the time is right. (gag. I can’t believe I just wrote that)

The silver lining? I’m really enjoying discovering new wines right now.

So by next year, I’ll either have a baby or cirrhosis of the liver.

Either way, my body will be a mess.

*I cringe on the inside knowing that my dad is going to read that. Hi Dad!

Song title: Patiently Waiting by 50 Cent

11 Responses to “Patiently Waiting”

  1. sissy2mom2b August 18, 2009 at 8:14 am #

    I know you’re frustrated :( Look at how far apart J and S are, almost 11 years! The upside? We get to party like rockstars on vaca next week.

  2. Jennie August 18, 2009 at 8:20 am #

    So sorry. No words of wisdom, just hope you get your wish SOON!

  3. Nel August 18, 2009 at 8:36 am #

    I love how you gag at the “it will happen with it supposed to happen/everything happens for a reason” bull crap!!

    I want to punch people in the face when they say that.

  4. erica August 18, 2009 at 9:10 am #

    I will be praying for you..i understand it took a long time for me to have kaile and i don’t wish that on anyone….I gave in and did the fertility drugs and it only took 4 months…I am scared as you are that when i try to have a 2nd the same thing will deserve it and i will keep you in my prayers…

  5. Angela August 18, 2009 at 10:01 am #

    big hugs maegan :( this makes me so sad for you. i will pray for you. btw….do you have the book “taking charge of your fertility”???

  6. Lindsay August 18, 2009 at 10:04 am #

    I know. I know. Oh boy do I know. Especially the wedding part. My sister in law is getting married next June and I am in the wedding and I keep telling her to put off getting bridesmaid dresses b/c I will be HUGE (in fact, if I get pregnant this month, I won’t even be there as it is across the country). I can only imagine how it will feel if I get to the wedding day able to drink champagne with everyone. It will feel terrible. Damn Stork. Where is he?

    Not sure if you’ve ever read NieNie but she made me feel bad the other day b/c she put up her first picture post accident and I really had to step off and count my blessings. It helped for a minute (sort of similar to the “at least I have arms” theory). But I want a BABY! And trying is hard work. :( Hugs for both of us :(

  7. beth August 18, 2009 at 11:30 am #

    I’m sorry:( I wish you luck getting knocked up soon. I’ve heard wine does help in the process;)

  8. Aunt Becky August 18, 2009 at 12:13 pm #

    Oh, it totally sucks when you don’t get pregnant when you want to. Trust me. It took me ages to get pregnant with Alex and then I didn’t go back on OCP and Alex was 15 months old when I got pregnant with Amelia.

    I’ll punch people for you who like to give you those stupid platitudes. EVEN IF THEY HAVE NO ARMS.

  9. Erin August 18, 2009 at 12:45 pm #

    In my house, discovering new wines usually leads to pregnancy. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and you keep your legs open (I’m allowed to speak this way on your blog, right?!).

  10. Pearl Wisdom August 18, 2009 at 10:44 pm #

    we can always find someone in a worse situation than us and we can always find someone in a better situation than us. so dont beat yourself up just beacuse you have arms. oh wait, i guess if you didnt have arms, you wouldnt be able to beat yourself up. interesting conundrum.

    you know i am just being a sarcastic asshole because i dont have the maturity to say something comforting and useful right?

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