Mommy’s at the Grocery Store

11 Jan

Dear Universe,

The next time you decide to surprise me with seeing a high school classmate at the store, could you give me a quick heads up so I could, you know, maybe shower and put on some makeup first?

Sure, the person was a checker at the grocery store fourteen years out of high school, but I was such a hot mess, he probably thought I was a hobo.

The Hot Tranny Mess with Twenty Extra Pounds on Her

PS: Fuck, make that FIFTY more pounds on me since high school. But to be fair, if you are 32 years old and still 115 pounds (1) it’s probably not healthy, and (2) I hate you.

Song title: Mommy’s at the Grocery Store by The Sick Lipstick

2 Responses to “Mommy’s at the Grocery Store”

  1. Kassia January 11, 2011 at 5:23 am #

    So glad I’m no where near my hs. Of course I did marry a guy from hs so I have that reunion every morning. And it’s not pretty these days. Two kids under 16 months apart does super scary things to the mid section. Super scary.

  2. Pearlwisdom January 11, 2011 at 8:32 am #

    If you are 32 and weigh 115, you have AIDS.

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