Love in 3D
22 Mar
This last Saturday, Mr. Bee and I went on one our infamous date nights.
Well, they actually aren’t that infamous or famous even. It just sounds much more impressive when I start the post out all flashy and whatnot.
So did we run off to Vegas or have dinner in a Michelin-starred restaurant?
Nope. We saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D because:
1. Who says Tim Burton movies aren’t romantic? (Here’s a hint: Me.)
2. If I’m getting dressed up for a date, you better fucking believe I’m gonna be wearing these…
Can you believe they ask you to recycle these glasses so some other schmuck can use them? What am I supposed to use when it gets sunny outside? Can you imagine how awesome the outdoors would be in 3D?
Well, we can dream, can’t we…
First of all, can we all acknowledge that Tim Burton is one twisted dude? I mean, you’d have to be to think of those visuals, right?
The entire movie I was staring at Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter thinking, “how can such a beautiful man looked sooooooo fugly?!”
Then I remembered Brad Pitt’s braided chin pubs and the world made much more sense again.
Secondly, can you imagine a movie like The Ring in 3D? I am the first one to admit that any Japanese horror movie in 3D would surely make me pee myself.
You know, more than I already pee myself when I sneeze, cough, laugh, blink, breathe, sleep, and sit unmoving (like at the movies).
But since they already give you free glasses, maybe Poise Pads are next?
I just wouldn’t recommend recycling those…
Song title: Love in 3D by Soma Sonic
Bahahahaha. Any post that combines 3D glasses, Johnny Depp, and incontinence is bound to be brilliant.
And I loved the movie except for a bit at the end. Can you guess what I’m talking about? Other than that bit, it was 99% perfect.
Someone had to sit in your seat after that. They recycle those too.
I can just picture the pimpled teenager taking tickets offering 3D glasses and Depends. They could package them together! I see all sorts of concession combos…
“Large popcorn, adult diaper, geeky glasses and a soda, please”
“That will be an arm and a leg ma’am. Would you like to make it a combo for the rest of your months paycheck? You’ll get a collector cup and extra large diaper.”
So with you on the Depp comment. Still…even with the ghastly makeup you can see that man is holding up to age amazingly well. Wait…is that what people say about ME? (Yes – including the “man” part. I’m convinced one day the mammo tech is going to tell me “Sir, you really don’t need one of these…”)