Let’s Go To the Mall

18 Nov

Goodwill Glitter Sale 2008
Bright and early Saturday morning, Sissy and I stood in line for more than two hours in the freezing cold to be one of the first in line for Seattle Goodwill’s 25th Anniversary Glitter Sale. Supposedly, every year Goodwill saves up all the designer donations they receive and put on this huge event to raise money for their work program. Even though we’ve lived in the Seattle area for 25+ years, this is the first we’d ever heard of this gigantic “designer” fundraising event so we thought we’d check it out.

I’m not one to participate in anything without doing some thorough reconnaissance, so I researched the crap out of this event. I quickly found out that the Glitter Sale is comparable to those crazy wedding gown sales you hear about in New York. People in attendance mean business and you better be prepared. Tips for the sale included:

*Wear a slip, body suit or swimsuit to try on clothing; there are no fitting rooms.
While most people just didn’t have any modesty and changed right there in the aisle (I totally would’ve done the same thing if I would’ve found anything needing trying on), a lot of people dressed as if ready to perform an interpretive dance at the local amateur theatre.

I wish like this:

But, in reality, more like this:
*When you arrive in the special sales area, grab a blue tote bin to carry your purchases; shopping carts and personal bags are not allowed.
I don’t know who in the Goodwill association thought that giant plastic bins would be a brilliant idea in a room stuffed to the gills with crazed shoppers. I can’t even count how many of these damned bins I got shoved in to my back. Even worse, some people thought it’d be brilliant to carried the bins on their heads, which would have been fine if these particular people weren’t midgets. Being slightly taller than the women in there, I had to constantly duck and weave to avoid getting a bin in the face.

*Rehang clothes you don’t intend to buy.
Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

*The store gets crowded, so be conscious of the comfort and safety of others; running is not allowed.
This rule is like telling Baby Bee not to shove her finger up her nose, your nose, any nose. As much as you try to stop it, it’s just gonna happen anyway.

Word around town was that last year about 300 people were lined up before the doors opened at 9 a.m. Not wanting to be near the end of the line, but not knowing really what to expect, I headed out the door around 6 o’clock in the morning the day of the sale. When Sissy and I got in line, we were roughly 40 people back in line. By 9 a.m., the line had more than ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE in it! It went down the side of the warehouse-sized building, out to the street, and down the street!

“Holy crap balls!” we thought. This place must be the shiz! When the doors opened, all hell broke loose and Sissy and I were shoved in to the madness. We headed to the “Vintage” room first.

Dear Goodwill Vintage Fashion Coordinator,
I am no fashion expert, but I’m 90% sure that Jessica Simpson shoes are
vintage. In fact, these shoes are maybe two years old at most. If two years old = vintage, my entire wardrobe consists of fossils. I’m guessing that Betsy Johnson, Jimmy Choos and Escada don’t fit in to the vintage category either. For the future, it would make things a lot clearer for customers if you entitled this room “The Vintage and Designer Label Room”. But calling Jessica heels “designer” is even a stretch…
Good luck next year,
The irate and bitching customer who was complaining about the shitty clothes

From all the press this event got, I was obviously expecting rows upon rows of sweet designer shoes and purses. My goal was to find a pair of Jimmy Choos or Chanel purse and then gloat to everyone I see that I got them for a fraction of their retail price. To give them credit, they did have two pairs of Choos (one was sooo fugly and the other wasn’t my size). However, everything else looked like this:

Really, I shit you not. I’ve never seen so much velvet and bedazzling in my life! Sissy and I watch all these people smile and share their stories about what great stuff they had scored, but we’d look in their bins and were simply puzzled about what they were so excited about.

Luckily, I did find a few hidden gems which I’m pretty excited about. I was even more excited when I found out how much money I saved! I got this Bill Levkoff Bridesmaid/Cocktail dress to wear to some upcoming weddings that I get to attend as a guest this winter!

Retail Price: $170+

Price at Glitter: $7.99

We also found a Juicy Couture purse. It was a little too pink and tweeny for us, so Sissy gave it to my niece. It’s a little crazy to see an almost five-year old carrying around a Juicy purse that some adults would die for, but they don’t realize how much it cost us!

Retail Price: $100+

Price at Glitter: $2.99

Lastly, I found a really pretty Nordstrom metallic gold knit skinny scarf thing (the kind of scarf that is more of an accessory). I figure that it retails for at least $80, but I bought it for $8!

To finish up our weekend, we also went to the Supermall’s Magical Night of Giving. We knew it’d be all Christmas-ey and was a fundraiser, but what we didn’t know is that all the stores would have ridonkulous sales!! The Banana Republic Outlet had an additional 30% off everything in the store! So, uh, needless to say, Sissy and I bought way too much, but now have some super cute clothes for the holiday season!

So much for being thrifty, huh. Does it count that I bought approximately $600 of clothes and accessories for $200? I saved us money, right?

Song title: Let’s Go To the Mall by Robin Sparkles
Extra points for knowing who Robin Sparkles is!

6 Responses to “Let’s Go To the Mall”

  1. Pearl November 18, 2008 at 2:16 pm #

    That sounds pretty wild! Did they let everyone in all at once? Sadly, I’ve been to a couple of similar things and have been disappointed as well. You know the employees got all the good stuff… hmmm, maybe a part time job at Goodwill is in order…

  2. Mrs. J November 18, 2008 at 3:43 pm #

    Duh, shopping math. You would have lost money had you not gone shopping.

  3. Sara November 18, 2008 at 11:12 pm #

    Of course you saved money!
    Does that make you feel better:)?

    (not that you’re feeling guilty):)

  4. Jaci November 19, 2008 at 6:12 pm #

    This is the best post I’ve read today. Thank you.

    Oh, that cruise ship T-shirt! Me thinks that was worn on a Richard Simmon’s Sweatin’ to the Oldies cruise. Too funny. 50 bonus points for being able to snap a picture of it’s hideousness during the sale from hell.

    Jessica Simpson vintage heels? HAHAHAHA.

  5. AndBabyWillMake4 November 20, 2008 at 1:21 pm #

    I am rolling…bedazzled clothes and shoppers in fugly unitards…glad you saved money and had a good time!

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

  1. Glitter in the Air | Mom to Bee - November 17, 2009

    [...] old) know that Sissy and I have a family tradition of shopping, a lot, during the holiday season. Last year, we found out about this crazy shopportunity called The Glitter Sale which is held in the huge [...]

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