Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

19 Dec

Oh, the weather outside is frightful…
Okay, so if you happen to be one of the four people who read this blog that don’t live in the glorious state that is Washington, we’ve had quite a week of weather. Saturday thru Tuesday we were dealing with traces of snow but a lot of ice. Steve Pool/Rich Marriott/Rick VanCise, who combined don’t know their asses from a thermometer, all said that a big storm was a-coming Wednesday. So what does everyone in the state do? Freak the crap out.

Now, I’m not making fun. People around the nation seem to think it’s hilarious that Western Washington is brought to a stand still when it snows 2 inches. Well, here is an update for those retards: We hardly ever get any serious snow here. In fact, I’m pretty sure the entire Washington Department of Transportation has like 1.5 snowplows and for some reason 1 1/4 of them get sent to West Seattle. Us in the South End get like a 1/2 cup of table salt.

Also, this same theory applies to summer weather. When people start complaining in Washington because the temperature is reaching the 90′s, please, dear God, please remember that maybe 1 in 800 trillion Washingtonians actually have air conditioning in their house. The rest of us with West facing houses are doomed to sweat off our winter blubber with maybe one or two box fans pointed at us (if we’re lucky).

But I digress.

Due to Winter Storm 2008 (Bum! Bum! BUUUUUM!) I ran my ass ragged Monday and Tuesday going shopping for presents. This is what Mr. Bee found when he ventured out on Monday:

Icy like my heart
Please note the TIRE TRACKS going through not only our front yard, but also our neighbor’s AND their neighbor’s yards!

Jerk Tracks
Seriously, WTF? It wasn’t that icy out! Some douche nozzle must have been being really reckless, I imagine. Whoever did this is sooooo lucky that they didn’t hit our car or house. Someone would have been hurt (and I don’t mean by the crash.)

Anywho, after fighting off the toothless and apparently showerless at Voldemart, I settled in on Wednesday for a blizzard of epic proportions. When I woke up, this is pretty much what I saw out my window:

I swear there were camels...
Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but let’s just say there were no snow banks to be seen and the roads were actually clearer on Wednesday than earlier in the week. Mama was ::this:: close to stomping up to Seattle to kick Steve Pool in the nards for making me rush around on the ice, but then realized that making Xmas cookies and sitting on the couch would be way more fun.

Well, imagine my surprise when it actually started to snow on Thursday!
Wisteria Lane (with snow)
Winter Wonderland and, oh, our Back Yard
Today the snow is still on ground and actually causing crazy havoc in all parts of Western Washington. This has got to be the coolest shit that has happened in the Seattle area for a while because the news stations are all over it!

'Pop quiz, hotshot.'
As with all bus related crashes, I blame Keanu Reeves and Dennis Hopper. Bastards.

Song title: Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! by Dean Martin or Bette Midler or Ella Fitzgerald or Harry Connick, Jr. or Johnny Mathis or Jessica Simpson (really though?), etc.

3 Responses to “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”

  1. Lazy Housewife December 19, 2008 at 3:10 pm #

    If that’s your house; it’s lovely. I want some snow too – just not the people who act-a-fool when they see a few flakes.

    And yeah Jessica Simpson sucks singing Let it Snow…or anything else for that matter. Good thing she has a nice rack to help her through.

  2. LDraper December 19, 2008 at 6:00 pm #

    This post really, really made me laugh! :)

  3. Pearl December 19, 2008 at 7:30 pm #

    I am from central Texas originally and we get snow there like every 4 years, so I can relate to the snow-tards! And now that I am in Northern California, I can also relate to sweltering in the 90 degree weather with no A/C. It was especially fun when I was 8 months pregnant!

    But what I really want to comment on is your house. Is it like 14,957 square feet or what?

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