Kids Aflame

3 May

So this last weekend, I decided to take los bebes to my parents’ house about 60 miles away.

By myself.

I’ll just let that sink in for a moment.

Done laughing?

Yeah. It was fan-fucking-tastic.

At least the ride down was anyway.

For the first thirty minutes of the hour and a half drive, the kids were great. Cute. Giggling at each other. Being relatively tolerable.

And then the crying began.

To be fair, it was mostly Bug. Mostly.

It was then that it occurred to me that Bug is simply incapable of handling a car ride longer than twenty minutes before morphing from mah precious liddle bebe in to a hell demon.

I had already dealt with about thirty minutes of crying when, while scanning radio stations, Bug quiets down to one particular tune.

By the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Kill me now. Fer serious.

Add in a sprinkling of Bee wanting my attention every two minutes while driving in traffic and I was this close to slitting my wrists with my bluetooth headset.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad. I don’t want to be melodramatic, but let’s just say that I would’ve rather walked the 60 miles to my folks’ house.

Barefoot.

On shards of glass.

Pulling a car Biggest Loser-style.

Needless to say, Mama is counting the milliseconds until Vegas.

Only 240,800,000 to go…

Song title: Kids Aflame by Arms

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