It’s My Lazy Day

18 Feb

It seems that this is the week for confessions.

So here it is: I. Am. Lazy.

Like pathologically lazy.

Here I am, at 3 o’clock in the afternoon on a brilliantly sunny day, with Bee asleep for at least another hour or so, and I can’t even get myself to concentrate fully on writing a comprehensible blog post.

Should I be cleaning? Doing laundry? Cleaning off my rat’s nest of a nightstand (really, Mr. Bee is starting to worry that rats are actually living on the top of my nightstand)?

Fuck, I’m too lazy to even create a list of the things that I’m too lazy to do!

I’ve attempted to do that set-the-timer-for-15-minutes-each-day-to-clean method. I’ve thought about making a list of a few things every day to accomplish (yes, the key phrase there is “thought about”).

And yet, there are still piles of laundry on the bedroom floor. Still a bathroom vanity that looks like a makeup-filled Vesuvius exploded and took half the bathroom with it. Still a closet filled with clothes that won’t fit me for another decade year.

This is where I need your help. I’m positive that, you, my faithful reader, keep a spotlessly clean Martha Stewart-esque home, complete with fresh flowers daily.

So how the fuck do you do it?

Maybe I should start with not napping for two hours every day during Bee’s naps. Girlfriend’s gotta start somewhere, right?

Song title: It’s My Lazy Day by Smiley Burnette

11 Responses to “It’s My Lazy Day”

  1. kelly February 18, 2010 at 7:30 am #

    i just had a cleaning lady clean my house this week for the first time in my life and i’m hooked like a crack addict. not only is my house cleaner than it’s ever been, but it’s like a jumpstart to inspiring me to keep it clean too. Feel like I was on a weight loss program to lose 50 lbs and was just given a 25 lb head start!! so cool!!

  2. Kassia February 18, 2010 at 8:20 am #

    I wish I had some inspiring tale about how I keep a spotless house even though my husband works odd hours, my 8 month old is SUPER high needs and I just found out I pregnant again (did I mention I have an 8mo old?). But I don’t. All I have is a huge steaming pile of self pity because my husband works nights, my kid screams at me all day and night and nurses at least 8 times in 24 hours, and I’m pregnant again, a year early. Yeah, yeah, some people pray for a second baby and can’t have one… I have one right here for you. You can pick the one sucking the life out of me from the inside or the one literally sucking on me all day and night or my husband who is actually excited about our kids being 16 months apart. Ugh.

  3. Lin February 18, 2010 at 8:33 am #

    I’ve got nothing for ya, sorry. I dont clean. I try but I’m horrible at it. I usually wait til there’s like 2 pairs of clean undies left before I do laundry & the hubs usually picks up after me. I suck at being wife like, lol.

    Ps. I think starting with a 2hr nap might work well for you.

  4. Amanda February 18, 2010 at 9:17 am #

    I suck at cleaning too, but one thing I’ve found helpful recently is to do the bathroom in spurts, usually while my 2 1/2 year old is having a bath. Since he only needs someone to be in the bathroom with him (to remind him not to splash so much), and not hovering right over him, I use the time to quickly clean the toilet or sink vanity. The bathroom gets cleaned over the course of the week, but not all at once.

    That’s about it. My laundry is in danger of molding, there’s a load that’s been waiting to get transferred to the dryer (in my defense, it’s in the landlord’s suite downstairs), and I’m always in danger of tripping on stuff that needs to get put away. Naps are good and refreshing!

  5. Courtney February 18, 2010 at 9:47 am #

    Girl I say nap away. No matter how much you clean, the house will get dirty again. But you can never get sleep back. You will have your hands plenty full when you have two kids to take care of. Sleep now! Clean when the state comes and threatens to condem your home!

  6. Syd February 18, 2010 at 10:29 am #

    I don’t even have kids yet, one on the way, and I can not keep us the the Martha’s even with loads of time on my hands. I have trouble even picking up after myself. I can’t imagine what this place will look like once baby comes. I keep hoping some nesting instinct will kick in and make me Donna Reed, but let’s face it, slob is in my nature. I say happiness is a good nap and a sane mama, not a museum quality house.

  7. CoreyAnn February 18, 2010 at 11:09 am #

    I have always been pro-nap (even before I had B)!

    I will say that I am an on-again, off-again with the FlyLady (Flylady.net). I find that it just helps my sanity to pick one area or item to always keep clean. Focus on one thing…then if it works after a couple weeks…add another.

    Then there’s always my other little helper…meds :)

  8. Shannon February 19, 2010 at 6:53 am #

    Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t keep a spotless house, either (much to my hubby’s dismay).

    I try to keep it clean… but the clutter doesn’t bother me. I’m usually up to my eyeballs in laundry just about every day. And the dining room table has become a catch-all.

    One of these days I’ll be able to stay on top of the housework.

    Maybe.

  9. Jenne February 19, 2010 at 9:48 am #

    As a slightly (all right much) older reader let me say sleep when you can because the dirt/clutter/mess will keep but sleep and playing/enjoying your babies will not. You can’t get back sleep or a missed moment with your child. My husband would love a spotless house but thats not going to happen with a four kids, all their friends, five dogs, a cat and the biggest mess of all my husband. As long as the health department doesn’t put a red tag on your door enjoy the nap.

  10. Erin February 25, 2010 at 5:37 am #

    Thank you for this post – now I realize I’m not the only one who doesn’t keep a spotless home! The bad news is that means I have no good advice for you other than to enjoy your naps and time with Baby B!

  11. Whitney March 2, 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    Oh what a relief! I am not alone! I keep trying to be better about the cleaning, about keeping house in general and I just suck at it! Thanks for the laugh today – I needed it!

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