This past weekend, I got some much-needed girlfriend time out at a local shopping center. After the obligatory oohing and aahing at the window displays, I convinced my possie into a way overpriced maternity boutique with me.
Here, I learned a few things:
1. One should never pay $50 for a maternity tank top, even if it says something cute and baby related on it.
2. Hooter Hiders is still one of the awesomest named companies/ products ever.
3. I seriously need to find out if this fetus is with or without a penis so I can start shopping post haste. Newborn clothes = fucking adorable.
4. Nothing makes you more ready for your impending crotch parasite then perusing overpriced baby clothes and toys. I almost felt my ovaries shooting out additional eggs when I was playing with crinkly terrycloth covered baby toys. I mean, seriously, people. Cletus was probably dodging extra ova bombs like she/he was on Normandy Beach.
5. The last thing I learned was that Mr. Bee has no appreciation for overpriced/reasonably overpriced shampoo and shower gel. I mean, how is a pregnant woman supposed to feel like facing the day without smelling like Verbena, whatever the fuck that is?
Song title: I’m Ready by Tevin Campbell
5:37 pm on March 2nd, 2010
Old Navy has a 90 return policy. Guess who returned the majority of her maternity clothes last pregnancy and will do it again this pregnancy? I think it falls under ‘creative accounting’?
I passed the GD test! BLEH is right, but now I can quadruple my brownie and ice cream intake. Right?
5:37 pm on March 2nd, 2010
Old Navy has a 90 day return policy. Guess who returned the majority of her maternity clothes last pregnancy and will do it again this pregnancy? I think it falls under ‘creative accounting’?
I passed the GD test! BLEH is right, but now I can quadruple my brownie and ice cream intake. Right?
5:51 pm on March 2nd, 2010
I love you so much, I leave the exact same comment twice.
9:36 am on March 3rd, 2010
I am a nanny for an infant (well, now he is five months) and I am constantly spending my entire paycheck on stuff for him. I love that outfit, these shoes, that hat…
My goodness, it is a disease!
E
10:07 am on March 3rd, 2010
I used to see these baby boutiques and think “who would pay for clothes that will be useful for only a few months, and likely be covered in pureed carrots, vomit, piss, and shit the majority of that time anyway?”. Now I understand. We pay because they are cute. There need not be any other rationalization.