I Love Myself Today

27 Oct

Today is Day Two of Mama Bee’s Thirty Posts of Truthiness! Yep, can you believe that I’ve stuck with it for this long?!

1: What is something you hate about yourself?

In the name of honesty, I probably would’ve given up on it already except I have absolutely nothing to talk about other than how my children were so horrible the other day that I seriously contemplated “going out for cigarettes” and moving to, well, anywhere other than my house.

I really think that water-boarding or getting my eyeballs pierced with red hot pokers would have been more enjoyable than listening to both children scream for two hours straight. Sissy assures me that this is “normal kid” behavior. Our best guess is that Bee was just so hungry from my lack of milk and her crappy latch that she simply couldn’t muster the energy to cry when she was an infant.

Needless to say, I’m really rethinking this whole feeding the baby thing.

Same goes for the three year old.

Feed a fever, starve a tantrum-throwing toddler, right?

Anywho, that’s not what you all came here to read (who am I kidding? That’s exactly what you came here to read)…today’s truthiness question is:

What is something you love about yourself?

This question was a little bit harder than the last one because, really, how much time do we have?

But seriously, I think I knew how I would answer this question pretty much immediately. It has, however, taken me years to really discover and develop this particular thing.

The thing I love about myself is my ability (imagined or not) to humor and entertain people.

Sweet baby Jesus in a manger, please don’t tell me that it’s imagined!

It may not surprise any of you to find out that I was definitely the ham in our family growing up. I was the girl pretending to be Vanna White in front of the television while we watched Wheel of Fortune, turning the letters (you know, before Vanna got all fucking lazy and forgot how to TURN THE LETTERS. Touch screen, my ass.) and walking back and forth in from of the television, which I’m sure was not at all annoying to my dear family trying to be Wheel Watchers.

But while I am constantly cracking a joke (defense mechanism much?), it took me years and the Interwebs to really discover and explore my love for humor and writing. I never thought that starting a family blog a year and a half ago would blossom this love and need really to write and make people laugh.

What started off as a diary to record my menial daily tasks and even more menial thoughts, like cutting my hair and house shopping, has turned in to…well…a diary recording my menial tasks and thoughts. But with a side of funny!

This blog has become not only a hobby, but a passion, and has gotten me started thinking about things like writing a book (I’m like the ONLY blogger to have this goal, right?) that in the past seemed not only impossible, but ridiculous. I mean, who the hell would be interested in what *I* have to say?

But every day that I succumb to the blog gods and check my blog numbers, I realize that, shockingly, there are people reading this piece of shit blog and are actually entertained by my mediocre writing. To top it all off, when I happen to write about something meaningful, such as my religious coming out (Losing My Religion) or anxiety issues (Who I Am), and it hits home to a reader out there? BLISS! You mean that I can use all my ridiculousness to help connect with other people?! Best. Thing. Ever.

And while most bloggers probably want more readers to gain notoriety and fame, I simply want to entertain more people! If 25 people think I’m funny, then I want to make 50 laugh. If 50 people are chuckling, then why not 1,000,000 100? I obviously have a niche market – not everybody is going to enjoy a detailed depiction of one’s ass being violated by a camera – but there have to be more people out there who could use a little smile (if even at my expense)?

So while I and this blog may offend some people’s delicate sensibilities, it’s not only a honest representation of me, it’s also my passion and, besides my two little nuggets and my husband, probably one of the coolest things I have ever been a part of.

And I love that.

Song title: I Love Myself Today by Bif Naked

5 Responses to “I Love Myself Today”

  1. Erin Wilson October 27, 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    And we love you for writing it! HUGS!

  2. Jenne October 27, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    And we want to thank you for putting a smile on our faces and sometimes a down-right belly laugh while reading this blog. Keep up the great writing, you bring lots of us joy.

  3. midori October 28, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    PLEASE…write that book! After becoming a huge fan of yours, I’ve often thought you could do standup, or should write a book. You’re incredibly talented and just about the funniest person….ever. We share the same inappropriate sense of humor…do you know how RARE that is? My son recently got married, fortunately, to a girl with an excellent sense of humor. We’re Harry Potter fans (sorry) and recently saw the most recent trailer in a theater. She leaned over and whispered “I just peed myself a little”, to which I answered, “I just lost my mucus plug. Did you hear something that sounded like a trash can lid hitting the floor?”. (I’m 50ish). We both snorted and cracked up. The world needs more of this juvenile, sophomoric, inappropriate humor. You have a responsibility.

  4. Arla-Shay October 28, 2010 at 10:04 am #

    I think Midori needs a blog.

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  1. Weigh on My Mind | Mom to Bee - December 1, 2010

    [...] 1: What is something you hate about yourself? 2: What is something you love about yourself? [...]

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