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Hurt So Bad | Mom to Bee

Hurt So Bad

29 Jun

**UPDATE: Sweet Jesus, that post had some typos in it! I think I caught them all, but please forgive my ridiculous grammar, sentence structure and obvious lack of a thesaurus**

Wedding Day
Despite the ridiculously warm weather, yesterday’s wedding went off without a hitch! (Photos to come as soon I get some!) Well, I guess there was a hitch…I was stupid enough to wear my stupidly fugly but supposed to be comfortable new shoes for the first time. All those ladies shaking your head in disbelief of my stupidity – you’re soooo right. I have not one, not two, not three, but…wait for it…FIVE blisters on my feet from my shoes. By the end of the night, I was cringing with each individual step I took.

But, on the plus side, the venue loved me. I guess they had a really bad experience with a day-of coordinator last week – they were an hour and a half off schedule by dinner. For those not married or in the industry, that’s a crazy amount of time to be off-schedule. Like, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. So to have me with my Type-A anal-retentive to-the-minute itinerary was a dream come true to them, I guess!

Jesus Thinks You’re A Jerk
I’m a little worried that I’m using up some strong song titles all in one post…

I am very happy to announce that I have given out my first “douche” card! I know that all of you read each and every post in your stalker-like devoted manner, but just in case you missed it, Bear (one of my super cool Lovely Lady Friends) got me these for my birthday a few months ago:

I gave out my first card anonymously (really, did you think I had the chutzpah to actually directly hand one to somebody?!). At my new “home”/shelter/abode (saying apartment kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little), we have one assigned covered parking stall per apartment. There is probably 2-3 uncovered spot for each group of 5 covered spots. But these uncovered spots are all first come, first served.

2 days ago, some asshole fellow apartment dweller decided to get his storage container (see left) delivered to one of the closest uncovered spots, thereby “squatting” in a stall, if you will. This, of course, forces me to park in like friggin’ Portland and have to carry my 85 bags plus Baby Bee like a Sherpa through the parking lot and then climb the three flights of stairs to get to my apartment (gag).

So the next time, Neighbor McDoucheyPants goes out to his storage unit, he’ll see a nice little black business card awaiting him. Maybe next time I’ll have the cajones to actually hand one to someone. Yea, not likely…

Song title: Hurt So Bad by Alicia Keys; Wedding Day by Bee Gees; Jesus Thinks You’re A Jerk by Frank Zappa

3 Responses to “Hurt So Bad”

  1. the mama bird diaries June 30, 2008 at 10:42 am #

    Sorry about the blisters. :(

    Those cards are hilarious and fabulous. Love them!!

  2. Nap Warden June 30, 2008 at 10:49 am #

    I love that you left that card! I also hate your neighbor!

  3. Pearl June 30, 2008 at 12:14 pm #

    I need some of those cards for my neighbors, but I don’t think they can read.

    I didnt think the shoes were all that ugly… could be worse: Dansko. (Sorry Dansko lovers! Just keepin it real!)

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