Ever since moving in to our apartment (gag), somehow
miraculously I have been losing weight. Well, okay, actually I technically haven’t lost any weight. The Wii Fit informs me that I weigh the same as a few months ago. But here’s the weird thing: my clothes don’t fit anymore!
A few months ago, I purchased a size 31 Joe’s Jeans(aka: my sparkle butt jeans) at the Rack, and while they’ve never been skin tight, they fit for a while. But now? It’s like I’m wearing man jeans. But for no ascertainable reason! I do have to climb 3 flights of stairs with probably 30 plus pounds on me (Baby Bee plus Diaper Bag plus Whatever I was out of the apartment – gag – to buy in the first place), but I’ve still been on my steady diet of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Pop Tarts so I’m not sold on that theory.
Any who, I went out last night with the goal to find some jeans that fit instead of looking like frumpy droopy drawers. Figuring that the Great Disappearing Weight will suddenly reappear the minute I leave the apartment (VIMMAL), I didn’t want to spend a huge dollar amount on jeans. I headed to the Gap, keeping in mind that I always have to size up when I’m there (seems like all their jeans are built for tweens lacking my ever-present “good birthing hips”).
Keeping my expectations low, I gathered a large assortment of styles in sizes 10 and 8 (with the size 8 being hopeful). I found a great jean in a size 8, but…it seems a little loose. But…that would mean…
Holy shit balls.
I got to buy a size SIX jean yesterday. SIX! I haven’t worn a size 6 since…well, it’s been so long that I can’t even remember when I worn that size! College, maybe? I am so happy I feel like shouting it from the rooftops! Or maybe getting a custom tee shirt made that says “I still weigh the same, but somehow I’m a size 6!”
God only knows where the mysterious weight is hiding? Under the bed? On summer vaca?
All I know is, hey Love Handles? Don’t come around here no more!
Song title: Don’t Come Around Here No More by Tom Petty