Despite, or maybe because of, all our fantastic purchases on the first day of the Goodwill Glitter Sale, Sissy and I decided to brave the crowds again for Day Two of the Glitter Sale.
Can I just point out that I not only woke up on a Saturday morning at the butt crack of dawn, but I did it the next day as well? I should be getting a medal or something. A trophy maybe. Like one of those little ones with a bowler on it (I’m not picky).
Anywho and whatnot, like I said before, Sissy and I ain’t amateurs so on Day Two we brought reinforcements in the form of my friend, who I’ll call Arla-Shay for the sake of anonymity.
When you see the photos below, you’ll understand why I use pseudonyms on the blog. Trust me.
So Sissy, Arla-Shay and I got to Goodwill at 6:30 and hunkered down for 2+ hours of “tap, tap, place backs” and vague physical threats to other people in line with us.
The awesome part was, while the items weren’t as super fantabulous as Saturday’s had been, this time we weren’t #73 and #74 in line either! We were actually #2, 3 and 4 on Day Two! Wooo Hooo! Eat my dust suckers!
After looking over every. single. item in the store about five million times (and finding a kick ass shiny brooch/pin thingy that said “Jesus” really big on it, which I promptly forgot about when it was time to pay for all your items. I will find you again Jesus Pin. You complete me.), the three of us headed to the Dress Section.
Now, the Dress Section is largely comprised of wedding gowns, prom dresses and bridesmaids dresses with maybe a few cocktail dresses thrown in for good measure.
However, all of these dresses appeared to be made in 1982.
As you could probably guess, after finding a few dresses that made us vomit in our mouths (individually, that is. We weren’t vomiting in each other’s mouths because that’s just unsanitary), it quickly became a contest of who could find the most disgusting dress and try it on.
See, I plan on having a Christmas party in about a month and once we decided that it might have to have a theme (working title: Formal Festivus Glitter Prom), our game of finding disgusting dresses to try on over our four layers of clothing (which worked really well) turned in to a quest to find a trio of horrid gowns that would be Formal Festivus Glitter Prom appropriate. Because there will be a strict dress code. And hopefully a balloon arch.
I’m convinced that Arla-Shay was purposely moving her head at light speed in order to not be clearly photographed wearing this sparkly, heavily shoulder-padded number (Shoulder pads quickly became Priority #1 in our dress choices).
The sexy backless-ness quickly became another High Priority Detail.
It’s really hard to tell in this photo of Sissy, but this dress was a total freakish combination of Jasmine from Aladdin and Maria from the Sound of Music. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it was made from some really horrible curtains.
I have something so shameful to admit. While it’s obviously horrible (it has puffy lace sleeves, for Christ’s sake), we couldn’t help but kind of love this dress. It was totally flattering (it probably helped that I needed like 12 people to help zip it up) and the color was really pretty in person.
I feel like I should turn in my unofficial Wannabe Fashionista card for admitting to that previous statements. Let’s all just pretend it never happened, okay?
I’m starting to notice that large floral embroidered jean jacket lady is in almost every photo with us. It’s starting to really creep me out…
Now, I’m sure this will slightly ruin the surprise for some, but I simply couldn’t hold a photo of this beauty back.
You will have to wait for a holiday party recap to see this piece of Goodwill Glitter Gold on me, though…
How’s that for a cliffhanger?
Song title: Glitter in the Air by P!nk