Enjoy the Silence

One important thing that was discovered on my Girls Trip to Orcas Island, besides the scary ass doll sacrifice rock (::shiver::), was that my ability to hold an appropriate conversation is inversely, conversely, perpendicular? Well, it’s totally related to how quiet my location is.

See, on Orcas Island, apparently it is frowned upon to talk. At all. Ever.

We would be out at dinner or lunch with at least a dozen other patrons and every single one of them were absolutely mute while dining.

I’m talking monk-ass mute (trademark!). Complete restaurant silence.

And for some reason, that is obviously connected to the alignment of the planets and whatnot, in these circumstances our conversations would naturally steer towards genitalia, sexual fantasies and our favorite curse words. In fact, I’m pretty sure at one café we were the impromptu entertainment as the table of 50/60-somethings sitting near us did not speak a word the entire time, but seem captivated by our conversation.

What can I say? We *are* pretty delightful.

But what was totally hilarious is when we had breakfast at a normal, non-mute café one morning, with families and patrons who possessed the ability of speech, we probably had the most public-appropriate conversations of the entire trip. Which says something, because normally when I’m around children, my Tourette’s really flares up.

God help me when Bee starts preschool in the fall. Poor girl might get blacklisted if any of the teachers read this blog…

Song title: Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode