Doctor Time

20 Jan

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So last week I had my first Cletus the Fetus doctor appointment. Finally, this pregnancy is starting to feel more “real”.

You know, more real than feeling like I’m going to vomit every 5 minutes.

I realized about a week ago that due to the twelve months of constant humping and constant disappointment (not necessary due to all the humping) to get this baby in my ute, that I’m a lot more cautious. I mean, I know this baby is in there and most likely isn’t going anywhere, I just haven’t wanted to get myself too excited after so long, just to have something tragic happen after all that wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’…

But I digress…

Last week, well, something great happened! We got to see our little Cletus for the first time!!

cletus the fetus

Isn’t he/she just darling? It’s okay, you can say it…it IS the cutest little fetus you’ve ever seen, right?

And while just being in an OB/GYN’s office definitely puts you in the “woohoo! I’m pregnant!” frame of mind, it also reminded me of what lays ahead.

Like the elaborate prepping-for-surgery-esque work you have to do to your vagina before just peeing in a cup.

And having to walk around the office and get home with a vagina full of KY Jelly after a vaginal ultrasound (which, trust me, isn’t as fun as it sounds) or a lucky visit with a “full exam”.

And the potentially embarrassing Biggest Loser weigh-in each visit. Every time I go in, I still ask if they want me to take off my shoes, coat, purse, clothes, underwear…anything to make that number smaller, right? (Thank god it’s still early and I’ve only gain 4 pounds. That will change soon, my friends. Soon.)

Side note: I totally thought I was starting to “show” until I sat amidst a bunch of women who were at least 8 months pregnant. Then I just felt like I was in an episode of “One of these things is not like the other…”

I’m starting to get really excited about Cletus (and even more excited for the little dude to get the fuck off my bladder sometime soon), but what other things did I forget with my Momnesia (you know, that helpful little thing that makes you forget all the shitty aspects of pregnancy so that you are dumb enough to try it again)?

Song title: Doctor Time by Rick Trevino

9 Responses to “Doctor Time”

  1. Kassia January 20, 2010 at 9:27 am #

    So exciting! The ‘KY drip walk’, and ‘the wipe wipe pee, oh man its on my hand’, and of course the ‘lets get a weight, oh it says here you wore your shoes last week, but we can do without this time… oh, and you’re still up 5 (6, 8, 12!) pounds’ all means you’re having a baby!

  2. Jaci January 20, 2010 at 9:30 am #

    I’m totally with you on the humiliating Biggest Loser Weigh-In. My goal is to never have the bar move UP…but it always does.

    Why can’t the baby live off my existing fat?!? What, my old fat is not good enough for it? Oh, no, baby has to live on NEW FAT.


  3. Keegan Mays-Childers January 20, 2010 at 10:29 am #

    Woohoo! Go Cletus! Good luck with the pregnancy; let me know if you need anything! Just don’t barf on me. ;-)

  4. Midori January 20, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    Awwwww – brilliant, Mrs. Bee! Summer baby? I’m guessing June or July?

  5. Kristen January 22, 2010 at 9:35 am #

    LOL! I took my shoes off at my first appt and now I have to at every appt. I mean, they probably weigh like a pound or two. And seeing as how I gained 6lbs between my last two appointments I’d like to keep that extra pond off!

  6. Aunt Becky January 22, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

    Now that is an adorable gummy bear!

  7. Rachael January 22, 2010 at 5:42 pm #

    I can’t believe that no one ever mentions the vaginal ultrasound until the day the doctor tries to put that up in there. Holy cow!

  8. Beth P January 23, 2010 at 6:57 am #

    How about the peezing? That’s always fun.

  9. Erin January 23, 2010 at 6:09 pm #

    Exciting pic!

    KY walk is never fun. Ick.

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