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Hospital Song

20 May

If you were really good stalkers readers, you would know by now (via my Twitter and Facebook pages) that Mr. Bee had to be admitted to the hospital yesterday. I’m going to attempt to be brief and vague at the same time as to not irritate Mr. Bee with disclosing too much personal info online.

He obviously doesn’t understand how much you people love hearing about my own personal bodily functions.

So, rewind to Sunday night when Mr. Bee got a really bad nose bleed while I was upstairs catching up on TiVo’d shows from my Vegas Trip. When I came downstairs, he told me that he had just bled a lot but finally got it stopped.

My bitchy skeptical side just figured that he was being a drama queen and our lives kind of continued on like normal, but he didn’t feel very well and ended up taking the day off of work on Monday. By Tuesday, he was feeling a bit better but called his doctor and was ordered to go get his blood tested to make sure he’s ok.

When the test results came back, it turned out that his hematocrit levels were low.

**Warning: I’m about to bore you for approximately one paragraph.**

According to Wikipedia (which is my encyclopedia AND doctor, thankyouverymuch):

Hematocrit is the proportion of blood volume that is occupied by red blood cells. It is normally about 46% for men and 38% for women. It is considered an integral part of a person’s complete blood count results, along with hemoglobin concentration, white blood cell count, and platelet count.

Mr. Bee’s hematocrit level was 17.

I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in…

You good?

Okay.

So the doctor called Mr. Bee while he’s out purchasing our new patio set (sidenote: YAY!) and told him (and I’m paraphrasing here), “Uh, get your ass to the hospital STAT!”

I don’t know if he actually said “stat” but they do it on Grey’s so it must be totally common, right?

By the way, can you totally believe that both Izzie and George flat lined on the season finale? Crazy, right?

What? Oh, right, back to Mr. Bee.

Mr. Bee went straight to the hospital from Fred Meyer (without even dropping off my new patio set – can you say “rude”?!) and checked in to the ER yesterday afternoon.

Long story, well, still kind of long, he had to get a blood transfusion.

A. Blood. Transfusion.

Hole. E. Crap.

The boy lost THREE units of blood during his nose bleed. That’s THREE PINTS of blood.

The average person has only 10 pints of blood in them.

But now he’s chock full of blood and back at home getting ready to work tonight.

Work.

(insert exasperated sighing noise here)

And I’m only a little worried that the blood transfusion will turn him in to a zombie or a vampire.

Mr. "Edward" Bee

But one can always hope, right?

Song title: Hospital Song by Ben Folds Five


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