Christmas Is Coming
14 Dec
This weekend has been chock full of Christmas-ey goodness! Friday night I traveled through super crappy traffic to the Dirty North for…
Song title: Christmas Is Coming by A Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack
14 Dec
This weekend has been chock full of Christmas-ey goodness! Friday night I traveled through super crappy traffic to the Dirty North for…
Song title: Christmas Is Coming by A Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack
10 Dec
Jingle Bells
Well, it’s officially that time of year. People are preparing for the holidays with various tradtions: sending out Christmas cards, bringing the kids to see Santa, trying to find room in the living room for the Christmas tree, and, of course, listening to the Christmas radio station 24/7 and turning our babies in to consumer whores (kidding, Pearl!).
While all those traditions are fine and dandy, they can’t possibly stand up to THE holiday tradition of the season:
“But Mama Bee, what do you do at said holiday party, pray tell?”
Friend, I thought you’d never ask.
Well, first we usually consume a ridiculous amount of food and alcohol. Then, the showcase of the evening, the presents. Typically the presents range from hilarious to oh-god-I-just-shat-myself hilarious. Here are just a few from last year’s shindig:
The presents shown (from left to right) are (1) a Darth Vader helmet that features a voice-altering thing-a-ma-bobber that makes you sound like Darth. You can imagine what we said as Darth. (2) The obligatory phallic sausages. (3) The “oversized” gift set, including gigantic stocking, huge (ornament) balls, large decorative bow, etc.
Following or during the gift exchange, usually Santabator and Mrs. Clause find themselves in some compromising positions…
Did I mention the drinking?
And at some point, I think some baby smuggling occurs. Hell, those little buggers go for a lot on the black market, right?
Happy Santabator to you and yours!
Song title: Celebrate and Party by Hymns
The Cool Kids