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Finale

15 Oct

Check out my Project Runway Season Finale Blog Post on my TiVo Junkie blog!

Song title: Finale by Anthrax

"And, boy, he went hog wild!"

15 Oct

**PROJECT RUNWAY SPOILER: In today’s post, I feature photos of the Bryant Park shows of the designers – don’t look below if you don’t want to see the final designs before tonight’s show!**

For you newcomers to the Hive, I write tv reviews every week on my tv blog: TiVo Junkie!

Project Runway – Finale Part 1
OMG, the Finale of Project Runway is tonight!! Holy crap balls, this season went quickly! Let’s get prepped by reviewing last week’s show and discussing how much we hate Kenley the pros/cons of each designer.

After last week’s totally predictable shocking decision to keep all four designers, they were given $8000 to create a line for Bryant Park. But, surprise! There’s more! They have to design a wedding gown too and it’s the wedding gown that will make or break their path to the tents. Oh wait! Surprise again! Even though you already have to design an entire line AND a wedding gown, um, can you make us a bridesmaid dress too? Kthxbai.

The super lovable Tim Gunn drives his Saturn cross country (yeah, right) to visit the designers at home while they work on their designs:

Korto

Korto’s designs get rave reviews from Tim, except for when in came to one particular dress’ shape: Korto definitely wins the Best Tim Gunn Comment Contest: “It gets a little sexual. I don’t want a snatch shot.” Korto’s designs are so ridiculously cute and wearable, it will pretty much drive me insane if she doesn’t win. She has a pretty cohesive line with the textures and colors she uses and you can definitely feel that ethnic vibe she was going for. Everything is so classic and sophisticated; I would love to purchase a Korto design.

Her wedding dress, however, left much to be desired! When Tim visited her at home in Arkansas, it looked totally cool, but all that added boogaloo to the chestal (is so a word!) region in not pretty or flattering! The totally silhouette is so dumpy.

I think her bridesmaid dress was really underrated by the judges. Sure, it’s so short you can practically see the model’s babyhole, but I thought that it matched the gown (in a good way) and wasn’t too competing. Hrmph.

Leanne

On Tim’s visit to Portland (go Pacific Northwest! Woot! Woot!), they went on a tandem bike ride! You heard me. A tandem bike ride! Just when you think Tim can’t top the “snatch shot”, he dons a bike helmet! We also learn, upon Tim’s arrival, that Leanne has a boyfriend who is just as homely and dowdy as she is. Seriously, Leanne. Would it hurt you to do your hair once while you are being featured on national television?! I’m sure the Treseme Hair Salon would gladly donated a brush and a curling iron to your cause. Okay, back to the fashion. Leanne’s collection is by far the most cohesive. I also fear that it might be too cohesive? The color combinations are great and I love how structured yet nature-inspired everything is. I still can’t wait to see the wave-skirts move on the runway.

Like her entire collection, the gown and bridesmaid dress compliment each other perfectly! I felt like Leanne’s designs for last week’s runway were the only ones that really complimented each other, didn’t compete with each other, but you could see the theme there without it being overwhelming. Loving Leanne!

Kenley
Alrighty then. I should warn you now, if you are a Kenley fan, you are not welcome here! First of all, when Tim visits her in Brooklyn, she immediately starts being Kenley. Have you noticed that she never says “thank you” after a compliment? She always says “I know!” Uhg. How irritating! And then when she starts describing her Alice in Wonderland inspiration, Tim has to pretty much say “Yeah, I know the ‘painting the roses reference, Kenley.’ I’m not mentally retarded, you know!” I wonder if Tim Gunn is totally over Kenley by now. I know I would be. And I can’t help but notice that Tim did all these extra-curricular activities with all the other designers but with Kenley he was in, told her what she wanted to hear, and was out like trout.

Kenley’s designs for Bryant Park are (1) completely predictable, (2) not at all cohesive and (3) most importantly, ugly as poo. What the fuck is up with her disgusting grandma prints that she uses? And then the ropes around the neck? Nice. And, I’m sorry, but does she not look like she’s having a stroke in this picture?

I could not handle that Kenley didn’t get ripped open about how predictable and uncreative her wedding gown and bridesmaid dress were! Hi, if any one has seen Sex and the City, a feathery cocktail length dress is anything but creative. And seriously? A bubble skirt bridesmaid dress. Seen it! Sure, the judges mentioned the similarity between the wedding gown and another designers work, but I really wanted them to stop raving about it and start asking her why she did something so ridiculously expected.

Jerell

Well, Jerell’s collection definitely reflect Jerell’s style, but I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. His designs are heavily inspired by a mixing of textures. The main problem I have with the clothes are how heavy they look. And the textures do not look good to me! I really like Jerell, but I feel like his collection is heavily Madonna’s Like A Virgin inspired which pretty much makes me VIMMAL.

Man, I can’t stand Jerell’s wedding gown. Or Funeral Gown, is more appropriate since nothing says Wedding Gown like dirty gray tulle and heavy dark beading. I really don’t think his bridesmaid dress is horrible, but I’m not a fan of the flower-sprouting-out-of-your-baby-feed-bags look. Unfortunately, the judges weren’t big fans either and poor Jerell will not be accompanying the ladies to Bryant Park (at least for the main competition!)

But look who else apparently was at Bryant Park?! (Joe & Suede)

According to the photos on Bravotv.com, both Joe and Suede’s collections, well, kind of suck. Any body else feel a little weird about how designers who were Auf’d get to show at Bryant Park anyway? I thought that was like the big goal? {shrug}

My favorite judges quote this week was far too long to be a post title:
“…But these wings over her boobs, plus then the jeweled boobs, plus then the jewels under the boobs, and then, of course, she’s got a flower pot growing out of her head.” ~ Michael Kors

More great quotes to come, I’m sure, during tonight’s episode at 9 pm PST on Bravo!

Recap – Project Runway

18 Aug

Project Runway – Welcome to the Jungle
Wow. Sorry it’s taken me so long to post about PJ, guys. I’m struggling, unsuccessfully, to get a new website devoted strictly to my television reviews up and running. Yeah, it’s not working so great. Apparently, I have no fucking clue when it comes to FTP and MIME and codes and directories and whatever. Basically the last few days have made me feel mentally retarded. What’s new, right?

Any who, last week’s PJ was inspired by the “hit” show Lipstick Jungle. Hit show? Really? Sex and the City knock-off is more like it.

And since when is Brooke Shields cool again? I mean, I was all about Suddenly Susan (and actually want to track down some episodes so I can watch some old school Kathy Griffin!) but lately? Come on, just ’cause the woman is in some Sarah Jessica knock-off and plays Hannah Montana’s mom…What? I didn’t know that she was on Hannah Montana. I mean, who’s Hannah Montana, right? haha ::nervous laughter::

But I digress. On the runway, teams of two had to design a day-to-evening work outfit for the glamorous New York working woman. Shields, of course, was the guest judge. Here are the designs:

Terri and Suede
Okay, fer reals? I don’t like this for so many reasons. The pants are fine, but a ruffly top? Off-the-shoulder, no less? I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it. Maybe it’s because the pattern of the fabric gives me seizures.

Keith and Kenley
Okay, I don’t think I can start talking about the outfit before first addressing what an apparent bitch Kenley is. Did you see her laughing at Daniel?! Okay, yes. Daniel is hopeless. But to stand on the runway, during the judging, and outright laugh at him?! Super bitch.

Oh, and that outfit is…well…interesting. I like what they were attempting but I’m not so sure about the Transformer sleeves. And what’s with the neck adornments, guys?! Jesus Christ. Apparently it’s worked for you this week, Keith. Bleh.

Korto and Joe
Loooove the jacket. I can’t really remember what the shirt under it looked like but the skirt – ick. I am NOT a fan of flesh tone fabric. What’s the point? The skirt pretty much could’ve been any other color of the rainbow and I would’ve loved this outfit.

Kelli and Daniel
Oh Daniel. Poor, sad, hopeless Daniel. PS to Kelli: animal prints are disgusting. Except for maybe the occasional zebra or giraffe print. Safari, yo!

But the construction of this outfit, I think, is was really brought it down. I suck some serious monkey balls on the sewing machine, y’all, and I could’ve made a better corset/tank top/whatever the hell that was. Blindfolded. With Baby Bee working the controls. Seriously.

Blayne and Leanne
Obviously, I am no design expert, but I totally loved what Blayne and Leanne did. Okay, what Blayne did. Because apparently Leanne is some hide-in-the-wall mousey girl. Grow a pair, Leanne! Jesus.

While it could’ve been dressier, I liked that he thought outside the box. Blayne’s orange skin and bleached hair still do give me the creeps though…

Jerell and Stella
So I’m vomiting in my mouth a little even as I type this, but I think crazy-mini-hat-wearing Jerell and I-love-my-leathaa Stella made the best outfit! I seriously can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think the pair really complimented each other. And I love what Stella did with the leathaa belt!

This Week
Winner: Keith – Eh, not my favorite but one of the top two for sure
Auf’d: Kelli – I think she was Auf’d before her time. Really think Daniel should have taken responsibility, even though the puke-in-my-mouth design was Kelli’s idea

Recap – Project Runway

11 Aug

Project Runway – Rings of Glory
Did you know that Season Six of Project Runway will be on the Lifetime Channel, not Bravo?! What?!

So last week, the designers were brought to the Armory Track and Field Training Center and introduced to their guest judge, Apolo Anton Ohno (go local homeboy, go!). They then had to design an outfit for the 2008 Summer Olympics Opening Ceremonies. I was waiting for some surprise announcement that the winner’s design was going to be used at the Olympics, but nope! Just another pointless design.

Here are my thoughts on the designs and designers:

Blayne: I promise that Blayne does not represent anyone in Seattle. For Christ’s sake, when he is home, he must stand out with that fake tan around all of us pale Northwesterner’s. I’m always surprised when his design don’t suck. His outfit was feminine, simple and flattering.

Daniel: Is it possible for someone to be a designer and color blind? While his dress was pretty, it wasn’t at all athletic and, FYI Daniel, it was PURPLE. It’s Red, White, and BLUE, honey. BLUE!!

Jerell: What. The. Hell. Was. That. Seriously?! The only thing stranger would’ve been to put your tiny little army hat on top of your model’s gigantic sombrero.

Joe: Better than some, but strangely looks foreign to me (maybe Japanese). I think he had the right idea, but lost it somehow.

Keith: It looks like the model’s wearing a life jacket, a men’s necktie and that her vagina is exploding fabric. Not cute.

Kelli: Super cute, but a little to Holly Hobby for me.

Kenley: VERY cute, but not enough of the athleticism that I think the judge’s are looking for.

Korto: I think she definitely had the right idea, but could the pants have a wider leg?! Like all those hot and toned athletes want to hide in giant Hagrid pants.

Leanne: Totally cute, but what’s with the scarf thingy around her neck? Not diggin’ it.

Stella: Need I say anything? This lady needs to go home FAST. I’m not kidding. Her accent is giving me a migraine.

Suede: Mama Bee can’t believe that she’s saying this, but Mama Bee totally and absolutely loves Suede’s design! Mama Bee would have loved to see the female athletes in something super cute like this during the Opening Ceremonies, instead of the manly butch slacks and jacket that they got to wear. Good work, Ralph. All the athletes looked like butch lesbians (not just the softball team).

Terri: Seriously, what’s with crazy neck adornments on this task? I guess this outfit isn’t horrible, but I can’t possibly get past the gross neck “thing”.

Jennifer: Super cute. Not athletic or fitting the requirements of the competition, but super cute none-the-less. She got Auf’d. Meow meow.

Recap – Project Runway

31 Jul

Project Runway – Bright Lights/Big City
In this episode, the contestants had to make a cocktail dress/outfit inspired by photos they took while exploring New York City at night. Here are my thoughts on the highest and lowest scoring designs:

Kenley
Her outfit looked nothing like her photo! The fabric was totally Miami Beach Grandma circa 1980′s. Totally think it’s disgusting. **UPDATED** What?! That outfit WON?! It’s so note cute. WTF. (see photo below).

Keith
His dress had totally no shape! It would’ve worked better if his inspiration was trash or a homeless person. SNAP! But I do feel bad for the gay Mormon. That can’t be fun.

Terri
I think that outfit is totally wearable and I really like it. I also like that the fabric looked almost identical to her photo.

Emily
I kind of like what she was trying to do but I don’t think she “made it work.” Kors hit the nail on the head when he pointed out how horribly the ruffles hit the model – up the side and right across her boobage.

Leanne
Totally chic. I loved it! And did you see how jealous Kenley looked and/or how the producers edited it to make Kenley looked super peeved?

Jennifer
Wow. I think Baby Bee could have sewed that better. Even I could’ve and I pretty much blow chunks when it comes to sewing. It was super boring but I don’t think it is necessarily the worst.

I was kind of surprised that Korto’s black jumper cat suit thing wasn’t in the top. I wouldn’t necessarily wear it myself, but it looked good!

So do you think the producers poo’d themselves with joy when they realized how much they could milk Suede talking in the third person. How friggin’ annoying is that?! Suede thinks that he is going to win because Suede is super cool like that. Really? Because I think Suede needs to shut the F up, already.

Okay, has anyone else noticed that this is the season of twins on Project Runway. I can’t keep any of these people straight:

Kenley & Emily

Terri & Korto

Leanne & Jennifer

Seriously, these chicks need to wear name tags or something!


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