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Mind Games

25 Feb

My body is playing some fucked up mind games with me this week.

Yesterday, I was so puke-tastically nauseous that even a normal (albeit disgustingly foul) poopie diaper of Bee’s made me gag. I had to sit next to an open sliding glass door to even change it!

So because of said gag-arific-ness, I convinced myself this morning to go against my common sense (and a promise I made to myself to have more will power) and peed on yet another home pregnancy test.


That's a Big Fat Negative for those of you playing along at home

And now, this morning, I’m (sorry in advance for the TMI) spotting just a smidge. But I *never* spot at the beginning of my joyous time of the month.

So here’s the question, Body. When will you make up your god damn mind already? Just open the flood gates or give me a positive test already!! But this unknown bullshit is killing me!

Song title: Mind Games by Yoko Ono

Wishin’ and Hopin’

15 Jan

Is the week over yet? Seriously, yo. I’m spent.

Since Sunday, I have been so exhausted. And last night I was feeling kind of ill.

My brilliant deduction is that I’m either:
(1) exercising too much and causing my muscles to mutiny
(2) getting old
(3) pregnant
(4) sick

Obviously, I really hope that it’s Cletus the Fetus that is making me so. god. damn. tired. But I’m realistic that even if I am pregnant, it’s probably a little too early for me to be suffering from baby-induced exhaustion.

Options 1 & 4 are enticing because then at least I will, in theory, improve at some point. Whereas Option 3 is slightly depressing as this will just be foreshadowing the 9+ months ahead of me.

Sidenote: Baby Bee is talking to herself in her crib right now. She’s saying, “No!…No!” but not in an angry way. A really cute belligerent baby way. She’s also started to put a finger up to her mouth and say, “Hmmm…” when I ask her a question. Frickin’ adorable, I tell ya.

Because I am so exhausted and cannot come up with a witty blog post to save my life, I will henceforth and therefore and whatnot entertain you with a photo of Baby Bee that I took yesterday after she woke up from her nap:

How to Rat Your Hair 101

Does she look more like

Nick Nolte

Gary Busey

or Sanjaya?

Wishin’ and Hopin’ by Ani Difranco