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Einstein’s Daughter

12 Jul

Kids are awesome.

But as parents, we all know a little secret.

Our own kids are Full of the Awesome.

You know, more than your kids.

We try not to brag. Maybe we might mention that it only took 2 1/2 days for our kid to potty train, she might impress doctors and nurses at wellness checks (minus the physical milestones, of course!), and sure, maybe we video her every move.

But let me preface this post (too late!) with: Dude. Seriously. I’m not trying to brag. But dude.

Bee totally blew my infantile and, let’s be honest, only a few points away from mentally retarded brain yesterday.

See, yesterday was Mr. Bee’s birthday. (Happy Birthday, Mr. Bee!!) While I was busy signing my birthday card for Mr. (which may or may not said something along the lines of “holy shit, you are so old that you used to play pool with Jesus”), I gave Bee her card to sign.

Unsurprisingly, this is what she produced:

That apparently spells her name. What a dumbie.

Totally normal for a three year old, right? It was exactly what I expected, I had just hoped it would entertain for longer since I wasn’t done writing on Mr. Bee’s “What was it like having to run away from pterodactyls?” birthday card.

So I tossed the envelope for Bee’s card toward her and just said, “Here you go! Can you write ‘Dad’ on it?” expecting a whole bunch more lines and hopefully a few more seconds to finish my card.

A minute later, Bee says, “All done!” and pushes this my way:

What. The. Fuck?!

What. The. Fuck?!

I’m pretty sure I’ve solidified my running for Mother of the Year Award 2010 with my actual response to Bee being:


Seriously, people. She just WROTE “DAD”!!! WTF!!!

Needless to say, my mind is completely blown! Mr. Bee’s too, but he’s more curious how genius skipped a generation with us…

Okay, by “us” he means me.

Song title: Einstein’s Daughter by The Nields

Your Song

21 Oct

Okay, so she’s not wearing her octopus costume as promised, but hopefully you’ll enjoy this little diddy anyway.

For those of you who are not fluent in Toddler, I have put a translation below.

“You can tell everybody, this is your song. It might be quite simple but now that it’s done. I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in wooooooooooooooords how wonderful life is now you’re in the world. Thank you! Thank you!”

I have to say that my favorite bit is when she’s jamming out Stevie Wonder style in front of the camera.

Song title: Your Song by Elton John

Smart Girls

26 Nov

Lately I’ve been trying really hard not to be that mom. You know, the one that thinks her child is a MENSA candidate because her one-year-old picks her nose with such grace. But I’m different, right?

I have to brag about Baby Bee. Over the last few months, Bee loves to point out any letters. Anywhere. It started with the U-Haul boxes. She would point at the U-H-A-U-L while saying “gee, blah, uuh, aah, eee”. We thought it was hilarious and great that she was showing such an interested in letters.

It wasn’t until last week that we really started paying attention to what she was saying…

And she was getting about three-fourths of the letters correct!

I immediately got out her flashcards and just made them available for her to play with. (I’m really not that crazy mom who pushes this shit on her. Really. She spends most of her time admiring the afternoon programming of the Sprout channel.) Again, she’s getting the majority of the letters correct!

To top it off, just a minute ago I was sitting on the couch next to my Starbucks Vancouver coffee mug. Bee tumbles on over and proceeds to spell “Vancouver” correctly while pointing out the letters on the mug! Holy crap balls!

I can’t believe this development occurred right after Oprah’s Super Awesome Kids episode. I’m sure she woulda been a contender…

Don't worry. It's vodka, not coffee.

PS: Extra points for those of you who have noticed that you can see a little something extra when you hover over the photos in my blog!
Thanks to Mr. Lady for inspiring this new fun feature!

Song title: Smart Girls by Brian Wilson