Mom to Bee

I’m not very shy or modest when it comes to discussing my body. Shocking, I know. I’ll give you a minute to really let that breaking news sink in… Wanna hear about my explosive diarrhea, butt cameras or how long it took to sew up my vagina after Bee’s birth? No problem. Even more shocking [...]

“I love that jacket!” Oh, thanks. It too could be yours for $10 at Le Tar-jay. “You are just so bubbly! I love it!” Heh heh. It’s probably the wine. Or the cocktails. Or you are crazy. One of those. “You look so great!” Me?! I’m a hot mess. A hot, stinky garbage mess. See [...]

Me: Hey, Mr. Bee. This is weird. This article says that the Seals that killed Osama Bin Laden died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan. Mr. Bee: Hmmm. Bee: That IS weird! Seals shouldn’t be in a helicopter!! They should be in the water! Me: ((laughing hysterically)) Song Title: From Mouth Of Babes by Old [...]

I’ve been pretty lucky in my life, especially when it comes to my children. I can count on one hand how many times my heart has broken for my children. In fact, as far as Bee is concerned, it’s only happened twice. The first time was when Bee declared to the extended family her intention [...]

For those of you who don’t know me personally or intimately even (not that way! Geesus, get your head out of the gutter…wink, wink, nudge, nudge), might not know that despite my dirty mouth and dirtier mind, I am actually quite the square. Like I didn’t drink until I was properly 21 years old square. [...]

This last weekend, Mr. Bee and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. I’ll hold for your applause… I totally thought, “Yay for us! We are so bad ass!” and then the waitress at dinner pointed out a couple who was celebrating their 44th anniversary. Way to rain on my parade, lady. Anywho, Mr. Bee and [...]

ABC’s The Bachelorette – episode 8 This week’s episode began with an extra long “last week(s) on the Bachelorette,” sucking us in to watching everything that we just saw recapped…last week and the last 7 weeks. Cumming in Georgia Really, Constantine? You live in a town called Cumming? Was the name Splooging already taken by [...]

ABC’s The Bachelorette – Episode 7 (last week’s episode because I can’t get two minutes to rub together nowadays to blog, my sweet and patient readers!) Traveling to Taiwan Ashley and the boys are now on their way to the hidden jewel of Asia, Taiwan. Ashley informs us that “not very many people know about [...]

I love things. But not just things. I love things that hold other things. Sometimes even things that hold other things that hold other things. This is, well, one of those things. Mother’s Helper Pill Box – $12-15 (depending on store) Please note the “Better living through chemistry” which will soon be a rotating headline [...]

So, um, remember that time I admitted my addiction to Old Navy tank tops and my budding desire to match all of said tank tops with color-coordinated flip flops? I bought more. I’m so ashamed. Not really. And since I’m already gonna lose my 7 day chip of tank top sobriety, I might as well [...]