Mom to Bee

Hi there! I think we might know each other? I write in this crusty and damp part of the photosphere that I like to call Mom to Bee…Have you heard of it? Tens of people used to read it, you know, before I went on an unannounced and unexpected blog sabbatical. Also, this post will [...]

Can I tell you how I feel about micro-managing, egotistical, know-it-all power-tripping bitchfaces? I pretty much hope that they all get herpes covered in genital warts on their face from Santa.   Needless to say, there is more coming soon on this story. Stay tuned… Song title: Merry F**kin’ Christmas (Live) by Denis Leary

Bee: “Mommy! My baby (doll) said something!” Yeah, what’d she say? Bee: “Get to a better state. State Farm!” Song title: TV Baby by Bif Naked

Organizing my closet by color makes me happier than it probably should. Song title: The Color Of Love by Boyz II Men

I’m starting to get all nostalgic for all my c-section/surgeries I’ve had in the last year or so because I miss people covering me up with toasty blankets from the blanket warmer doohickey. I think that’s reason enough to get something cut open, right? Well, that and the drugs. Song title: Keeps My Body Warm [...]

Dude, what’s up with my MIA status?! Where have I been? Well, here’s a brief rundown of recent and not-so-recent events: (1) Had surgery to fix my dis-gusting belly button. (2) Broke my big toe. Walking. I shit you not. (3) Caught a monster cold from Bee (thanks, preschool. I owe you one. “One” being [...]

I’m seriously regretting eating so many raw veggies while watching the Bachelor Pad finale last night. I’m pretty sure my stomach views them as foreign bodies like shrapnel or a new kidney or something. Anybody have any anti-rejection drugs I can borrow? Song title: Eat A Vegetable by Gary Lapow

As a shameless self-promotion by an admitted attention whore (hello, I’m a blogger, right?), I’m celebrating my 100th Facebook Fan with…wait for it…A GIVEAWAY!! What do you get? Grand Prize: A $25 Gift Card to Le Target! Runner Up Prize: 2 8-packs of Naughty Betty greeting cards Honorary Mentions: When you just have to tell [...]

Remember that Snow White-esque, naive girl who wandered through a flowering meadow towards a hernia repair, whistling some bullshit about “one day my belly button will come,” all the while the surgeon/huntsman lurked quietly behind her, waiting to strike. Okay, bad analogy, but give me a break. I’m on pain meds, yo. And remember that [...]

My dearest Bug, My sweet, squishy, playful, exceeds any adjectives, Bug. I simply refuse to believe that you have been in our lives for more a year already. Where has the time gone? From the very moment we knew, after months and months and MONTHS of trying, that we were finally pregnant with you, I [...]