Mom to Bee

Remember that Snow White-esque, naive girl who wandered through a flowering meadow towards a hernia repair, whistling some bullshit about “one day my belly button will come,” all the while the surgeon/huntsman lurked quietly behind her, waiting to strike. Okay, bad analogy, but give me a break. I’m on pain meds, yo. And remember that [...]

The other day, I was sitting with Bee as we thumbed through a Disney Princess storybook. My lovely daughter, who is currently obsessed with my ever-growing prego bewbs, pointed at a photo and said: “Mommy! She has boobies like you!” Normally being compared to a Disney character wouldn’t be a problem. Might even be a [...]

I totally wasn’t going to blog today because I’m super worthless, but I didn’t think this novel would be Facebook update appropriate. So I’m totally convinced that I’m have been impregnated with a vampire baby. Here is my reasoning: 1. I’m super sensitive to sunlight today. Now I’m going with the more traditional sunlight-kills-vampires theory [...]