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Easy Skanking

16 Oct

Because I’m boring and don’t have much to chat about today besides the fact that my nervous stomach has come back in full force (fuck you, anti-anxiety medication), I’ve decided to take today a little easy by doing this Google Image Search Post. All you do is go to Google images and choose photos to go with each category…

My Favorite Beverage
maybe with a side of…

My Hometown
F-Dub! HOLLA! Our old house is just off the left side of this photo.

My Favorite Television Show

Oh, you wanted me to be specific? It’s like trying to choose my favorite kid (which is thankfully easy right now)…

My Occupation(s)

With a bit of…

and a dash of…
the wedding planner
And yes, J Lo’s depiction of my profession was totally spot on. All we do is look around dreamily while stealing the groom from the bride. Which is really difficult when you are busy getting your heel stuck in random manholes around town.

My First Car
Dudes, it was all about the DeLorean-esque louvers on the back window. Super fly for a white guy.

My Favorite Dish
I would gladly sell my left nut to eat Crispy Cali Rolls from Umi Sake House in Belltown every single day for the rest of my life. And by “my left nut” I really mean Mr. Bee’s left nut. Sorry, honey, but thems good eats.

A Celebrity I’ve Been Told That I Resemble
jenna elfman
Mr. Bee’s other nut could go for that haircut. Or, you know, I could just make an appointment at Gene Juarez…

A Celebrity on my “To Do” List
There are many, so I’m going to make it a three-way tie (or just a three-way! Bow chica wow wow!) between jim halpert
I hope my flashforward includes these guys!
minus that dead guy in the middle, of course.

My Favorite Children’s Toy
It took the power of Facebook for me to remember the name of this classic, but it was always my favorite game!

Any Random Photo
When I typed in the word “Random” to the Google Images Search, this seriously is the photo that popped up. I’m not kidding. Apparently you don’t search for Chuck Norris, he searches for you.

What I Am Doing Tonight
Like you’d expect any less of me? Or any more, as the case may be.

Song title: Easy Skanking by Bob Marley

No Contest

27 Feb


Have you seen the contests lately at SITS (aka: The Secret is in the Sauce)? There is currently one for a Bedroom Bliss Giveaway that sounds, well, blissful, and I’m determined to score it! Hence, this ass-kissing post for extra entries!

But in all honesty, I’m seriously hoping that one day I’ll be featured on SITS. Sure, they will have to label each and every post of mine as “adult for language” but for fuck’s sake, SITS could make me BIG TIME! Come SISTAS, show Mama some love for Christ’s sake!!

Anywho, I’ll let you know when I fail to win my super awesome bedroom contest. Maybe it will help facilitate Cletus the Fetus being conceived…

Song title: No Contest from Chess: New York Musical

What You Say

20 Nov

Yeah. I still can’t talk about it. Stop asking. Geesh.

But instead, since my head WILL literally explode with said undiscussable (is TO a word) subject, I will post an on-going count of how many times said thing has, you know, there and also too, happening and whatnot also. (That was my Sarah Palin impression. Nice, huh?)

Song title: What You Say by Skrape