TIME TO GIVE AWAY MORE FREE SHIT ON THE BLOG!!

Some of you may be familiar with Arla-Shay, my lover from another mother…

Arla-Shay at the Glitter Party

I swear that she normally wears far less eyeshadow and glitter. And her eyes don’t normally glow red like the Devil either.

Her husband, on the other hand, totally has a mullet.

Well, Arla-Shay has started a new Etsy store that features her awesome knitting. Seriously, even though knitting is for, like, 80-year-olds, this girl can knit with the best of them! (I jest! I jest! I wish I had the skills to knit! I’m pretty sure I would just accidentally poke both my eyes out with those big needles if I ever picked them up…)

So in honor of her Etsy debut, Arla-Shay is giving away a pair of hand-knit pink & charcoal gloves, complete with the cute stringy thing that will make sure that little devils like Bee don’t lose them!

UPDATE: I just got word from Arla-Shay that she’ll knit a pair of mittens for a boy if you’d prefer!!

So here’s the dealio to enter in the contest…

Visit Arla-Shay’s Etsy Shop (click here) and post in the comment section of this post which item is your favorite! If you’d like, you can also comment about how adorable her glove models are…

For an additional entry, sign up to receive Mom to Bee in your inbox (click here). If you are already receiving Mom to Bee in your inbox, you already qualify for the extra entry!

For shits and giggles, we’ll keep the contest going until Thursday night, 8 p.m. PST. (’cause a girl needs to be free to watch her stories). I’ll post the winner first thing Friday morning!

Good luck!!

Song title: Free As A Bumble Bee by ABBA

Seriously, that is the technical term. I Googled it.

Weeks ago I got an email from Red Plum, you know, those dudes who lovingly provide you with coupons every day in your mailbox/newspaper/email/underwear drawer/etc., asking me to attend something called “My Frugalicious Holiday”.

The obligatory "Frugalicious Holiday" sign photo

Since I’m a total patsy for anything -licious, I spent the last week trying to convince myself that my first blogger event would be awesome and not anything like I imagine (basically a room full of carnivorous, hair-pulling, bitches who would laugh at my outfit while simultaneously ignoring/shaming me in to a corner like a good little wallflower).

After struggling over what to wear (sweet jesus, what to wear) and dragging Mrs. J along to help me shiv any of those cold-hearted bitches who would try to knee me in the vagina (because, duh, I’m kind of a vaginalicious), I hopped in the car for a quick drive up to Seattle.

Oh wait, did I say “quick”? I meant, fucking slow as shit. Seriously, Seattle. What the hell.

But it was cool. I spent the time not freaking out (which, as we know, is kind of a shock) thanks to licking a Xanax before I left the house. And I rocked the party in my car with plenty of James Taylor and Train. (Shut up. My iPod is the definition of adult contemporary.)

Sidenote: Why did the Starbucks I’m sitting in suddenly start smelling like fish? That can’t be a good thing…

Anywho, after fighting through the hoards of traffic while singing Footloose at the top of my lungs, I finally arrived at the event.

First of all, most importantly, I totally rocked my Marc Jacob heels.

And, yes, I did take photos of my own feet while trying to impress people. Because that’s how I roll.

After subtly infiltrating the other bloggers ranks with my sneaky and effective “Hi! I don’t know you, but I’m going to sit down with you and join your conversation whether you want me to or not so suck it” technique, I really started socializing and even forcefully shoved in to their hands handed out my blog business cards (which were pretty clever, ifIdosaysomyself).

I won’t lie. There were probably some mixed reviews.

I made even more of a name for myself when I won the door prize, a beautiful centerpiece wreath made of what I believe to be olive leaves. It smells wonderful and I can’t wait to use it for our Thanksgiving table!

When it was presented to me, the blogger to my right leaned over and asked, “What is that?!”

Being the serious professional that I am, I said, “It’s a hat. Obviously.”

Oh yes, ladies and gentleman. I am nothing if not professional.

Thanks again to Red Plum, who fed us so well (seriously, I think Mrs. J was preparing for hibernation. That girl can eat!) and giving us some fabulous swag bags! I could get used to this wining and dining shit.

Song title: Red Plum by Trolleyvox

I finally got around to scheduling the shoot and promptly went out and bought roughly one trillion dollars worth of new clothes for the family. I mean, you can’t have a photo shoot without everyone having coordinating outfits, right?

And, by the way, coordinating outfits for three people without trying to look too matchy-matchy is a royal pain in the ass. Just a nice little public service announcement for y’all.

So after buying 8 trillion different outfits (for myself), the family headed up to my old alma mater (Go dawgs! Woof! Woof!) to practice our runway walks in front of the photographer.

Now, due to Bee’s ridiculous crying and tantrums during our photo shoot with Sissy at the beach (and you’d think since Sissy and I hail from the same vagina, that would lend Sissy some sort of street cred with Bee, right? Yeah, not so much…), the day before the shoot I really made a point to prep Bee on what was going to happen.

Okay, basically I told her that we were taking her to the park.

Tomato, to-mah-to, people.

To be fair, I DID warn her that there would be a nice lady there who would be taking our photos and that every now and again we might have to pose and say “cheese”. Was Bee cool with it? Totally.

Until, you know, we got there and she saw the camera.

What happened next was nothing short of a Linda Blair movie.

Sidenote: What the fuck is up with this photo being on the front page of IMDB right now?!

Way to make me scratch my eyeballs out with my toenails, IMDB. Thanks for that.

Speaking of freakishly scary things, Bee was absolutely possessed by the devil.

Not only did she refuse to pose for photos, she basically cried any time she (1) saw the photographer, (2) saw the camera, (3) felt the wind blow, (4) remembered that we weren’t at an actual park, (5) took a breath.

Needless to say, it got old real fast.

But despite my child being fully uncooperative, check out these amazing photos we got! I swear, our La Luz is a freakin’ miracle worker.

Or a priest who specializes in exorcisms.

The jury is still out.

Thank you so much to Aly Medina from La Luz Photography for these great photos! I can wait to place my order and get some hanging up on the walls at home!

Song title: Photo Shoot by Gucci Mane

And the winners are:

Congratulations to Tara, Keegan, Sharla and Misty! Email me your mailing address (mom_to_bee@yahoo.com) and I’ll get the tickets in the mail post haste. Or today. Whichever is faster.

Song title: Let’s Go to the Fair by Ralph Stanley

The lovely people at The Puyallup Fair have supplied me* with not one, not two, but FOUR PAIRS OF ADMISSION TICKETS to the Fair, which starts September 11th!

This year, The Fair is chock full of really cool stuff like a Weird Al exhibit and Uniqua & Pablo from the Backyardigans.

Don’t worry. I’ve already warned the Fair people that Bee is likely to either hump The Backyardigans’ legs or try to take them home with us.

Maybe both.

No, really. I really did warn them. They said that they would hire extra security…

Anyway, we’re keeping it really simple this time.

To Enter The Contest just comment below what your favorite part about going to the Fair is.

You’ll have until Monday, September 7th @ 9 p.m. PST to enter so I’ll have enough time to drop them in the mail to you! And don’t forget, FOUR PEOPLE WILL WIN!!

Good luck! And don’t forget to Do The Puyallup from September 11 – 27th!

*Seriously. Like they read the blog and everything and STILL decided to sponsor this giveaway! They even called the blog “creative”. Even Mr. Bee was shocked (as he doesn’t consider this blog very “family friendly”. haha!

Don’t worry I’m not talking about your blog.

At some point these blogs were interesting, right? One day there was a blog post that inspired me enough to add it to the blogroll. But now? Not so much.

Really, I promise I’m not talking about your blog.

I’ve been cutting some ties. Auf’ing some blogs from my Reader. Telling them to pack their knives and go, if you will.

But now I’m in desperate need for new entertaining blogs to read and I need your help! I need you (yes, now I’m actually talking about YOU) to recommend your favorite blogs!

To encourage you to hand over your favorite urls, I’m going to turn this in to another giveaway!!

For each blog you recommend, you will gain one entry to win a Trio of Philosophy’s Award Winning ultra-rich 3-in-1 shampoo, shower gel and bubble baths (which despite the schizophrenic-ness, are truly amazing).

One lucky person will win 3 – 16 ounce bottles of Vanilla Wafer, Spiced Apple Cider and Orange Chiffon.

THE RULES

* Each blog you suggest gains you one entry to the contest.

* For each blog you suggest, please visit said blog and comment on a post letting them know that you recommended them to me as one of your favorite bloggers! Let’s show some blog love, people!

* Contest will run until Wednesday, August 26th at 9 p.m. I’ll announce the winner Thursday, August 27th.

* I am looking for funny, entertaining blogs such as Mommy Wants Vodka, Lulu and Moxley and/or The Bloggess.

* I am not looking for blogs centered around arts & crafts, God, cooking, and/or scrapbooking.

* For every blog you send me that sucks, I will send an email virus to you. Just kidding. I’ll just send you an envelope of herpes in the mail. (Shut up, it’s totally possible. That’s how my ex-boyfriend said he got it…)

* There could possibly be a prize for Best Blog Suggestion…so keep the good blog suggestions a-coming!

Song title: Free As A Bumble Bee by ABBA

It touches the warm cockles of my heart, even the deeper sub-cockle region, to read all the awesome comments you left for moi and that you would go to such lengths to support both Mom to Bee and SugarBabies! (I now understand why all those blog giveaways make you go through all that bullshit to enter…sorry, dudettes. Uh, but it’s totally gonna happen again, so get used to it! ha!)

Okay, so enough “They like me, they really like me” bullshit, right?

The winner of the First Mom To Bee – Free As A Bumble Bee Giveaway is…

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Oh, wait, you want to know who #39 is?!

Jesus, you people are never pleased are you.

Unless I’m getting a camera shoved up my ass, then you’re all “ooooh! Tell us more! I live in Belgium and love ass cameras!”

You fickle, fickle readers, you.

The winner of the contest is…

…wait for it…

Congratulations, Pearl!! I swear to GOD that the winner was chosen super randomly. There are elaborate Excel spreadsheets and online randomizers to prove it!

To thank you readers that went above and beyond in your contestology or contestification, if you will, I’m going to send some Starbucks Gift Cards out to the five people who had the most entries!

Those top fives are: Denise O., CoreyAnn, Denelle, Teddi Y., and Erica Y.!!

So if you want your prizes, please email me at mom_to_bee@yahoo.com!

Congratulations, Pearl, Denise, CoreyAnn, Denelle, Teddi and Erica and thank you to everyone who participated!

I promise that this giveaway won’t be the last! Muuuuaaahaha!

Song title: Winner by Ne-Yo

Visit this post for all the details!!

Don’t live in Washington? Don’t care! I’ll ship the prize anywhere!

Don’t have children? Give the prize to me! Okay, or your children’s children. Or your friend’s kid. Or to charity!

Don’t have a blog? I’ll give you the 10 Blog Entries if you FB Status about the giveaway! Even if you’ve already blogged about the contest, this afternoon I’ll give you FIVE EXTRA ENTRIES if you Facebook (who knew that was a verb now) about the contest!!

Please be sure to comment on the original Free As A Bumble Bee Giveaway post if you (1) check out SugarBabies online, (2) become a fan of Mom to Bee on Facebook, (3) become a fan of SugarBabies on Facebook, and/or (4) blog and/or Facebook about the contest today!

Time is running out!

I’d write more today, but I’ve got sunshine, a hammock, and the last book in the Twilight Saga calling my name…

Song title: Time Has Come Today by Chambers Brothers

I’ve discovered in the last two years that there is something I love even more than shopping for myself.

It’s shopping for Baby Bee.

You don’t have to try anything on, there are no body issues (yet) and what is better than having an adorably-dressed little girl on your arm?

NOTHING. That’s what.

I mean, why else are all those hip celebrities in Hollywood getting knocked up?

So next week, just for fun, I’m giving away some adorable clothes from the cutest little boutique consignment shop this side of the Mississippi. That’s right, my very first giveaway!!

My favorite place to shop for Bee is called SugarBabies.

The shop is located in Sumner, Washington, but has a great online store as well! Ashley at SugarBabies has been awesome enough to giveaway your choice of one item from her new Tea collection!!

To enter the contest, visit SugarBabies online and let me know what your favorite product is in the Comments section of this post.

I’m a little scared to read your answers, because I need no more temptation…

But wait! Do you want another chance to win?

For an extra five entries, join the Mom to Bee Facebook Page!

For FIVE MORE ENTRIES, join the SugarBabies Facebook Page!

If you are already a Facebook fan of SugarBabies or Mom to Bee, then first, my undying love to you. Secondly, just let us know in the comments and we’ll give you those extra entries!

Lastly, for TEN EXTRA ENTRIES, blog about this contest on your blog and post this badge! (simply copy the html code below and paste it in to the html code of your blog post!)

Just cut and paste this code in to your post!

<a href=”http://www.momtobee.com/free-as-a-bumble-bee”><img class=”aligncenter size-full wp-image-1429″ title=”FREE STUFF YAY!” src=”http://www.momtobee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/giveaway-badge.png” alt=”FREE STUFF YAY!” width=”175″ height=”175″ /></a>

UPDATED: The code was a bit wonky, I guess, but I think this should fix it? (FYI: I guess Blogger adds some random ass code to the html when you cut and paste, so just double-check the code before you post!)

THE RULES
No entries after 7:00 pm Pacific Time Monday, August 3rd.

Winner will be chosen and announced first thing Tuesday, August 4th.

Make sure you post in the Comments of this post so I know when you have blogged about the contest, visited the SugarBabies website, become fans of SugarBabies or Mom to Bee on Facebook, and/or blogged about the giveaway! Honor system, people.

Song title: Free As A Bumble Bee by ABBA

I’m VERY excited about this little something.

Here’s a teaser for you until then…

Song title: A Little Bit Longer (You Don’t Even Know) by Jonas Brothers

Oh my god, I used a Jonas Brothers song.

Somebody shoot me.