Mom to Bee

“I love that jacket!” Oh, thanks. It too could be yours for $10 at Le Tar-jay. “You are just so bubbly! I love it!” Heh heh. It’s probably the wine. Or the cocktails. Or you are crazy. One of those. “You look so great!” Me?! I’m a hot mess. A hot, stinky garbage mess. See [...]

In the ongoing saga that is my attempt to wrangle some normalcy in my life, last week I started taking Wellbutrin. Before I go in to the awesometastic weight loss side effects, let me first say that I had no idea how depressed I was before I took an anti-depressant. Now don’t get me wrong. [...]

You know what makes life a lot easier? Being literate. Which, apparently, I am not. A few weeks ago, I went to my crazy nurse (she’s actually quite sane, she is just my crazy pill dealer) and spoke to her regarding my feelings as of late. Really, I was there to beg and plead for [...]

I have a confession. I started doing the Couch to 5K program. Again. Okay, so technically I had already started Couch to 5K a month or so ago, but upon finishing the first run, my body left me a little note on my nightstand the next morning. It read: “What. The. Fuck. Stop it. Love, [...]

***BREAKING NEWS*** I’m fat. And tired. And tired of being fat. And totally unmotivated. Especially in regards to doing anything regarding the aforementioned fatness and tiredness. Besides sleep. I’m totally motivated to sleep more. Sure, I just had a baby, but I’m sure even you are saying to yourself, uh, you had a baby seven [...]

I’m sure it’s been clear to my tens of readers that lately I have been kind of full of the writers block. Let’s be honest, I used to post at least four times a week and now I’m averaging… (does math in head) (still doing math) (resorts to computer calculator only to be distracted by [...]

I have a silly, ridiculous, almost impossible theory to confess. For some reason, after I have a vividly realistic dream, I’m totally convinced that the people I dreamed/dreamt/had dreams about also dreamed/dreamt/had the same dream about me. Which leads to some really awkward conversations after some of the fucked up pregnancy dreams I’ve had recently. [...]

It seems like now that the new year is here, everyone is declaring their two-thousand-and-hate for 2009. For some reason, I was really surprised at all the “OMG, 2009 sucked my cornhole! Happy NYE!” updates on Facebook last week. Maybe it’s just me (and I’m sure that there is some likelihood that it is just [...]

Tuesday was a pretty monumental day for me. I found my sunglasses that I had been missing for the last month. What? That’s not monumental enough for you? Seriously, I was almost about to go out and buy a new pair. Dodged the bullet on that one. Okay, the real monumentalistness (trademark!) was that it [...]

After last week’s disappointment, I was thrilled yesterday to go to my very first acupuncture treatment for fertility (and a little bit for anxiety). Appropriately, I began the appointment by being retardedly nervous. See, since information is my one true love (you know, besides Mr. Bee of course) I had tried my best to research [...]