Thank you so much to everyone that participated in my Philosophy Bath Set/Blog Love Giveaway last week!

And the (randomly chosen) winner is…

Darnonymous!!!

Please email me to discuss getting your prize (mom_to_bee@yahoo.com).

Since my blog template is retarded or something and didn’t show everyone’s lovely suggestions, here is a full list of all the recommended blogs for those of you that need to freshen up your readers (The blogs are guaranteed to make your reader Massengill* fresh):

A Little Pregnant
The Adventures of Ashlyn Grace Ingling
Barefoot Foodie
Cake Wrecks
Charm School Reject
Cookin’ A Goonie
Daring Young Mom
Go Fug Yourself
Maybe If You Just Relax
Jennsylvania
What Could Happen?
LaLa Girl
Princess Melissa
Scary Mommy
STFU Parents
All & Sundry
There I Fixed It
The Spohrs Are Multiplying
Yellow Trash Diaries

Once I have a chance to read all these lovely blog suggestions, I’ll pull out a favorite for a special prize!

But as for now, I have seven days of TiVo that I need to catch up on before I start getting the shakes. And why the fuck didn’t someone tell me that Top Chef AND Project Runway had started?! Jesus Christ people. How did I not know this?!?!

*Serious extra bonus points for anyone who knew that the douche was called MassenGILL not MassenGALE. WTF. I’ve been mispronouncing it for YEARS!
Song title: Take a Bath by The Kottonmouth Kings

Okay, people, you officially have less than SIX HOURS to enter my giveaway for FREE CLOTHES from SugarBabies in Sumner!

Visit this post for all the details!!

Don’t live in Washington? Don’t care! I’ll ship the prize anywhere!

Don’t have children? Give the prize to me! Okay, or your children’s children. Or your friend’s kid. Or to charity!

Don’t have a blog? I’ll give you the 10 Blog Entries if you FB Status about the giveaway! Even if you’ve already blogged about the contest, this afternoon I’ll give you FIVE EXTRA ENTRIES if you Facebook (who knew that was a verb now) about the contest!!

Please be sure to comment on the original Free As A Bumble Bee Giveaway post if you (1) check out SugarBabies online, (2) become a fan of Mom to Bee on Facebook, (3) become a fan of SugarBabies on Facebook, and/or (4) blog and/or Facebook about the contest today!

Time is running out!

I’d write more today, but I’ve got sunshine, a hammock, and the last book in the Twilight Saga calling my name…

Song title: Time Has Come Today by Chambers Brothers

Can you believe that I started this POS blog only a year ago today?! I have to say that the content has definitely improved (if I do say so myself).

Also improved? Definitely Baby Bee. I can’t believe how much she’s changed! Here is a small example of how she has changed:

For those of you who have been with us from Day #1, seriously, don’t you have something better to do?

For you newbies, same applies.

(But I really love you all! Thanks for reading!)

One Year Later by Get Up Kids

I know I’ve already bored you today with my Google Anal-tics stories, but I just noticed something uber cool.

The Google program finally has enough information on the new site (www.momtobee.com versus www.momtobee.blogspot.com) to come up with the percentage of increase or decrease in readership.

Did that last sentence make any sense? I think I’ve taken too much cold medicine tonight…

Anywho, here is my new visitor stat (mind you that it’s probably so crazy because it’s the first percentage since I started the new site):

In case you missed it, Google Anal-tics says that my readership is up 34,000+%!!! I don’t even know what that means!

I’m seriously laughing my ass over here because I really don’t think it’s increased that much. It must be an error somewhere. As far as I can tell, I still have tens, maybe on a good day tens of tens, of readers.

But that’s what makes you special! I promise when I “make it big,” we’ll all go to Vegas together or something. First round of drinks are on me (and by drinks, I mean water – I’m a cheapskate, yo.)

Watch Out Now by The Beatnuts

Alright, Interwebs, due to being as sick as a dog (whatever that means), having tweaked my back during this last weekend’s wedding, and just in general wishing that I could climb in to bed and not come out for a few days, I don’t have much for you today. Besides rambling.

Rambling, I can do.

* * * * * * * * * *

Got an interesting “compliment” at Saturday’s wedding. The DJ and I were trying to figure out when the last time we worked together was. We couldn’t remember if we had children then or not, so we decided it must have been while I was pregnant because he noticed that I am “considerably smaller than I was then”.

Uh, thanks?

And just for shits and giggles, I looked up that wedding date just now. Yeah, I was 4 months postpartum. I’m going to look for the silver lining and whatnot and just be happy that I’ve lost that baby weight since the last time I saw him.

A year and a half ago.

* * * * * * * * * *

It’s that time of the month again. The sit-around-waiting-to-be-pregnant-or-start-bleeding time. Due to my god damn stupid basal thermometer dying mid-cycle, I don’t have a good idea of when I ovulated, so who knows if there is a little Cletus the Fetus in there or not… I figure since this is the one month that I’m not freaking out over every single twinge I feel, then I totally will be prego. But who knows? Not I.

* * * * * * * * * *

Did I tell you about the coolest shit I found on Google Anal-tics? I’m always looking for new ways to stalk my tens of readers and I found the coolest thing – a map that shows me where everyone is reading from!

You can even see the exact cities too!

So let’s first discuss something important…

What the fuck is up with South Carolina, Delaware, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Nebraska, New Mexico, Kansas and Alaska? Not a single reader?!

I mean, to be fair, I did have to look up what the names of half of those states were, because, really, all those ones in the middle? Not really my targeted audience.

* * * * * * * * * *

Okay, well, that’s all I got for you today, Interwebs. As always, if you have a topic you’d like to hear my thoughts on, feel free to email me at mom_to_bee@yahoo.com!

As soon as I kick this cold thingy, I’ll be back to my bitchy sarcastic self.

I promise.

Wild Urge to Ramble by Blue Highway

Just this morning an awesome friend of mine began a huge pimp campaign on my behalf! Welcome new readers!

I hope this blog doesn’t completely blow your mind.

But it will.

It totally will.

PS: I’m currently working on a super kick ass giveaway! Stay tuned for updates…

Song title: Welcome To The Pleasuredome by Frankie Goes To Hollywood

I swear I’m not TRYING to mess up my website! Hopefully we’ll have the comments page up and working soon! It’s actually there if you search for it (the form is just all white so you can see the boxes of the comments form to fill in!)

Sorry I’m such an html hack! I’ll get it fixed soon, I promise!!

Song title: Crack the Code by 311

I’ve got big news!

My blog can now be found at www.momtobee.com!!

I won’t take down the blogspot blog right away, but I’ll probably start posting the new stuff on the new Mom to Bee.

I’m still trying to figure out WordPress (seriously thinking about jamming a fondue fork in to my right eye), so give me a little slack when it comes to random retardedness on the new site.

Start updating your reader subscriptions now!

Song title: Big Time Operator by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Okay, so maybe posting a ton on SITS and completely reformatting my blog was bad timing… Oops! Sorry everybody! But I got a fever and the only cure for that fever is more cowbell redesigning my blog.

Okay, so I totally have a new obsession.

The Secret is in the Sauce

“The Secret’s in the What?!” you may ask.

It’s a super cool blog set up to promote other blogs! They can basically make or break your blog. One awesome blogger that I read said that one day on SITS gave her like 100 comments a day!

I’m now completely obsessed with getting featured so I can up my readership! Wish me luck!!

Song title: Obsessed by Pressure Drop