Mom to Bee

So, where were we? First, my vagina leaked a bunch of fluid. Then, I discovered the most efficient way to crush one’s spirit includes an anesthesiologist. THEN, we were introduced to The Claw. Let me tell you, I was very disappointed with the Google Image results from “palsy hand.” So I’ve decided to break out [...]

So after pushing for two ungodly hours… Side note: Thanks so much, Doc, for letting me push that long even though I kept telling you that I didn’t think things were progressing (and I imagine that you could definitely tell that things weren’t progressing, but didn’t respond to my comments). Oh yeah, and super thanks [...]

When we left Part One of Bug’s Birth Saga, the nurse was just heading out to fill an order for Pitocin to get things a-moving. The peanut gallery (aka: my mom, dad, sister and best friend) had all arrived at that point and we all waited impatiently to get transferred in to a birthing suite. [...]

After a week and a half, after at least four or five days of truly trying to find the time to sit down with the laptop, and with baby planted firmly on boob with netbook balanced precariously on my breastfeeding pillow, here, my loves, is Bug’s Birth Story. It was a dark and stormy night… [...]

After a week and a half of sleep deprivation, I’ve realized a few things: there is absolutely no way that I will willingly give birth to another child, I absolutely need a personal assistant/chef/pharmacist, and you, my tens of readers, probably would like a grand introduction to the newest member of the Bee Family! So [...]

For those of you that haven’t followed the daily ups and downs of my uterus via Facebook, first of all, why the hell not?! Become a Fan of Mom to Bee on Facebook and you’ll get all the awesome updates including but not limited to these gems: If you have been missing out on these [...]

FYI: If you’d like to follow the “blow-by-blow” action that is my impending labor and delivery of Cletus the Fetus, you should “like” the Official Mom to Bee Facebook Fan page. Updates including, but not limited to, me cussing out anyone around me and blaming Mr. Bee for “doing this to me”. Song title: Blow [...]

On Tuesday, the OB/GYN (otherwise known as the “baby doctor” in my house) took a gander up my va-jay-jay to check on the status of my Cervix of Doom. I only call it the Cervix of Doom because the Cervix of Rainbows and Puppy Dogs just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I haven’t [...]

Typically, when one thinks of a baby shower, you think of smelling melted candy in diapers, lots of “oooh”ing and “aaaah”ing and, well, general boredom. I mean, is anyone ever really excited to get an invitation to someone’s baby shower. Shit, I am pregnant and the idea doesn’t even sound good to me. That is, [...]

Okay, first of all, yes, I totally get the irony of posting this after last Monday’s “Aren’t Babies and Pregnancy Awesome” post. But I would like to state something for the record… I am SO over this pregnancy. It’s hilarious to me that it’s like a switch being flipped. A really fucking evil switch in [...]