Mom to Bee

On Tuesday, the OB/GYN (otherwise known as the “baby doctor” in my house) took a gander up my va-jay-jay to check on the status of my Cervix of Doom. I only call it the Cervix of Doom because the Cervix of Rainbows and Puppy Dogs just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I haven’t [...]

Okay, first of all, I need to apologize to all of you that spent last week sitting vigil at your computers awaiting a new Mom to Bee post in vain. Wait, what? Really? You aren’t just hanging on my every foul word? God dammit. Anywho, there is a totally good reason for my recent absence [...]

I’m sure it’s been clear to my tens of readers that lately I have been kind of full of the writers block. Let’s be honest, I used to post at least four times a week and now I’m averaging… (does math in head) (still doing math) (resorts to computer calculator only to be distracted by [...]

It seems like now that the new year is here, everyone is declaring their two-thousand-and-hate for 2009. For some reason, I was really surprised at all the “OMG, 2009 sucked my cornhole! Happy NYE!” updates on Facebook last week. Maybe it’s just me (and I’m sure that there is some likelihood that it is just [...]

After last week’s disappointment, I was thrilled yesterday to go to my very first acupuncture treatment for fertility (and a little bit for anxiety). Appropriately, I began the appointment by being retardedly nervous. See, since information is my one true love (you know, besides Mr. Bee of course) I had tried my best to research [...]

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from confronting my newly discovered “issues” it’s that I’m going to be learning a lot. Being a Psychology Major, I already am captivated by analyzing my physiological responses to outside stimuli and when and where it happens. But a difficult life lesson that I’m struggling with is adjusting to [...]

Funny story. Remember that one time, long long ago, when I said I was totally getting better. Yeah. Um, not so much. Apparently the shits were just scared off momentarily by the menstrual cramps. And Keegan and Greg, you wonder why you are like the only two boys who comment/read the blog? (Please reference previous [...]

Remember how yesterday I said that I’d give anything to not be explosively pooping out my butt (or any other orifice thankyouverymuch) anymore? Okay, so maybe I didn’t exactly say it on the blog (or out loud) but I was thinking it. Loudly. In my head. Maybe. Well, apparently my totally made up wish has [...]

This morning marks Day #2 of my food poisoning fun (otherwise known as Mama Bee’s Record Breaking Pooping – if you call shooting water out of your ass “pooping” – Day). It’s almost as if the universe knows that I need blogging material and sent a nice batch of colon evacuating bacteria my way. You’re [...]

I am falling apart. Almost kind of literally. See, last night I had a delicious dinner at a local Pacific NW-known establishment (it rhymes with SchmIvar’s), and I’m pretty sure that they served me death (or) aids (or, maybe more realistically) some bad seafood. All I know is that ever since I woke up this [...]