Can’t Speak the Words
15 Sep
I have something deep and important that I want to discuss today, but for the privacy and emotions of everyone involved, I can’t.
I just can’t.
And I feel like I’m bound and gagged.
Or a mime or something.
But without those stupid gloves.
But oddly enough, the makeup would kind of work for me.
It is completely against who I am to not want to share my inner-most feelings with people. Usually friends, but let’s be honest I’ll talk to anyone.
Seriously, if someone just came up to me on the street and asked me some totally personal questions, most likely my response would be, “How much time do you have because I could talk about this shit (shit meaning my vagina) FOREVER.”
To be so emotionally wrought and not be able to express it in this forum, this blog, which has become my cathartic release of emotions and thoughts is just unbearable. With this computer warm against my lap and my body snuggled deep in to what I have recently deemed my “blogging chair” (mostly because it is in one of the only rooms in the house without a television so I don’t have to deal with my TiVo’s siren song calling me back to all the Real Housewives of Atlanta episodes that I’ve never seen before), I feel such a release as my thoughts rush down my spine and out through my fingers tips and miraculously on to this fancy little WordPress template on my screen.
Once I hit that purdy blue Publish button, I feel such a rush of emotions. The pride of a (hopefully) well-written post. The excitement of having you, the readers, read another P.O.S. post masterpiece. The anticipation to see how a post will be received.
But, alas, the demons, the real anxiety inducing demons, are the ones that I shouldn’t talk about on the blog.
Sure, I would feel better afterward, but feelings could, and most certainly would, be hurt.
So instead of baring my soul, my conflicts, my worries and troubles that envelope me in a blanket of frustration, hurt and anxiety, instead I give you this photo. Because no matter what mood you are in, this shit is just funny.
PS: Don’t worry, it’s not really as bad as it sounds!
PPS: Also, I have my appointment with a psychological RN or some shit today. All I know is that she works at a shrink’s office and I have to see her instead of a doctor because, wait for it, they are booked up for the next, seriously, wait for it, SIX MONTHS. So yeah. I’ll take who I can get at this point.
Song title: Can’t Speak the Words by Ditch Lilies
Well, dammit, Mrs. Bee – I hope you’re okay. Your posts are what get me through my days – you are actually MY therapist – honestly, you have no idea how you lift my spirits with your humor. I’ll be thinking about you – feel better!
Hope you feel better soon. Can’t you talk to Sissy?
PS Love the bird. He made me giggle.
Bastards!! Six months? Geesh!
Well, I hope she can give you help. Some is better than none, and I’ve been in your place before.
Best of luck to you!
several things bee
1. i posted about miming very recently
2. i posted about not sharing my true feelings as well.
we are kin folk.
who knew??
fuckin a.
I am going through the same thing and it sucks and I’m sorry. Maybe we could bloghop.
this is what hello kitty journals are good for. as long as they have a lock. you know, one of those invincible luggage locks.
xo fer reals.