Bloody Bitch

30 Sep

Remember how yesterday I said that I’d give anything to not be explosively pooping out my butt (or any other orifice thankyouverymuch) anymore?

Okay, so maybe I didn’t exactly say it on the blog (or out loud) but I was thinking it. Loudly. In my head. Maybe.

Well, apparently my totally made up wish has been granted.

The poo flood of ’09 has receded only to be replaced with ridiculous hunger from two days of my body forcefully expelling anything I did dare eat.

Oh, and did I mention the stupid menstrual cramps?

Right-o. 48 straight hours of grossness just to be topped off with sure-I-knew-I-would-be-pregnant-because-I’m-doomed-to-be-barren-and/or-Bee-will-be-retiring-before-I-get-knocked-up-again-so-of-course-I-would-get-my-period-but-why-do-I-suddenly-have-cramps-too?!

Holy shit, that was a lot of hyphens.

HyPHens, you sickos. With a PH.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that this week sucks some pretty sweaty monkey balls.

I’m going to go enjoy these menstrual cramps now while, hopefully, squeezing in a nap before Bee wakes up.

And maybe eat some chocolate. That’s the cure-all for cramps right?

Song title: Bloody Bitch by Insane Clown Posse

3 Responses to “Bloody Bitch”

  1. BethP @ Laugh Until You Cry September 30, 2009 at 5:21 pm #

    Oh man! I’m so sorry you haven’t been feeling well and as the cherry on top that biotch showed up. Chocolate is definitely the answer.

  2. Pearl Wisdom September 30, 2009 at 9:12 pm #

    I’ll say it again, that sucks giant donkey dicks!!

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