Blog Fart Friday

26 Jun

* Why, when you honk at someone in order to prevent them from hitting YOU with their car, do they feel compelled to get angry and honk back at you? Next time, I’m just gonna let one of those douchebags hit me and then just say “Meow. meow, Asshat. Hope you have insurance.” Stupid fuckers.

* I absolutely hate it when bloggers try to disguise their cursing in posts. Here’s a tip, when you write m*ther f#cker, people are still SAYING “mother fucker” in their head. It’s not like we say “m-asterick-ther f-number symbol thingy-cker” in our head.  Or when you write fcuk or use SomeHellaIrritatingTrick just in order to say “shit”. Just say it already and stop the pretense that we all can’t handle it or, gasp, that’s it just completely inappropriate. We’re all saying it our heads when we read it anyway, right? So just fucking say it already.

* The other day, I was looking through a class catalog from a local community college when I came across ballroom dance lessons. Mr. Bee and I took some salsa eons ago and for one instant I thought, “ooh, that might be kind of fun.” Then I had a realization of sorts. In my about 100 weddings, every single time I see a younger couple (or any couple, for that matter) who actually knows how to dance, I think one thing: What a couple of douche bags.

Why is it that the knowledge of dance is that kind of social situation just makes you look like a nerd or that you are showing off? For that one instant, I thought it would be such a fun thing for Mr. Bee and I to do. But then I realized that we are probably suffer from enough douchbaggery as it is…

4 Responses to “Blog Fart Friday”

  1. Kristen June 26, 2009 at 7:19 am #

    Thanks for the early morning laugh! I gotta go finish the fucking chores before all of Beanie’s friends come overrun our house for her birthday party!

  2. mdc June 26, 2009 at 9:35 am #

    My God I feel like I am in nightmare I came across this shit and it reminds of this gray haired nutcase I work with. I not only live in the crazy zone I am now reading the crazy blog…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

    Actually I work with your Dad so my dear you have been cursed/blessed with his bizarre sense of humor….everyone morning he keeps us in stitches, glad to read the he passed those genes on!!!

  3. mdc June 26, 2009 at 9:37 am #

    what you are moderating my comment yikes…. oops should read every morning not everyone, well it could read every morning he keeps everyone well I am sure you get this jest of this.

  4. Aunt Becky June 26, 2009 at 4:14 pm #

    “* I absolutely hate it when bloggers try to disguise their cursing in posts. Here’s a tip, when you write m*ther f#cker, people are still SAYING “mother fucker” in their head. It’s not like we say “m-asterick-ther f-number symbol thingy-cker” in our head. Or when you write fcuk or use SomeHellaIrritatingTrick just in order to say “shit”. Just say it already and stop the pretense that we all can’t handle it or, gasp, that’s it just completely inappropriate. We’re all saying it our heads when we read it anyway, right? So just fucking say it already.”

    FUCK YEAH. Drives me fucking wild.

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