Been So Long

21 Mar

Dude. You still there?

Didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that. You know, how like 9 months ago I kind of dropped off the planet, taking a totally unintended sabbatical-like thingy from blogging?

I could point fingers at my mother-in-law for selfishly taking care of one of Mr. Bee’s aunts, who is in dire need of aid during the day. How rude, amiright? Or I could accuse the crotch parasites of, well, you know, LIVING.

But really? I’m just a total lazy ass who has lacked all inspiration as of late. Oooh! That’s it! My stupid kids aren’t being funny enough! BINGO!

Anywho and whatnot, I suppose you probably would be interested in a quick crotch parasite update. To answer everyone’s burning question: will there be a THIRD Bee/Bug to grace this mad, mad world of ours?

To put it as eloquently as possible…HELLS TO THE FUCKING NO!

I lurv my babies but I swear to god if I ever have to fruitlessly struggle to get a baby out of my vagina again, I will throw myself off of a cliff.

Subtle, yes?

Can I tell you how hilarious my kiddos are? Bee is almost five (gasp) and cracks me up with her ever-growing vocabulary. Okay, so maaaaaaybe some of the words aren’t really something to brag about: lately, she has taken to gasping whenever she’s forgotten to do something followed with, “Dammit! I forgot to (fill in the blank)!”

I have NO idea where she got that from.

Probably her father.

And Bug? Lordy. He is so freakin’ hilarious. When they tell you that all kids are so different, I’ll admit, I thought “they” were full of shit. But these two kids? For example: Bee was spelling five letter words (luckily she skipped the FOUR letter ones! ::rim shot::) by the time she was Bug’s age. She, however, was still crawling.

Bug, on the other hand, is an Olympic athlete compared to Bee, but his vocabulary pretty much consists of “blerg” and “bah-ga”. Don’t even ask me what those mean. I usually interpret it to mean, “Mom, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go rest and/or surf Pinterest for a few hours.”

Bug is a very considerate little boy.

Everything at Casa de Bee is pretty much the norm. Mr. Bee is still chock full of ailments. I’m pretty sure the only thing he is missing at this point is leprosy (fingers crossed!). At some point, we need to start a Medical Bingo club because we’d have some blacked-out cards by now fer sure.

I have started yet another business. I might have whored myself out to you mentioned it at some point. It’s called 6433 creative and I’m having a blast creating graphic art and paintings. It occurred to me sometime last fall that it’d be super fun to actually get paid to do something I love. And since it didn’t look like the League of Stay-at-Home Mothers would be distributing any dividends any time soon, I decided to attend of few small craft shows. Those small craft shows led to the Starbucks Holiday Bazaar and then, a few weeks ago, I took the plunge and had a booth at the Northwest Women’s Show in Seattle. It was SO. MUCH. FUN. I met some awesome ladies and it’s really helped business (so far)!

So, that’s where I am now. Painting. Mommy-ing. Surfing Pinterest for more ways to clutter my house with crafts.

But hopefully soon I’ll get in a car accident or have plastic surgery or something so I have something to write about.

Just joking on the car accident.

Song title: Been So Long by Brian McKnight

2 Responses to “Been So Long”

  1. Keegan March 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    I hear you about kids being different. My oldest is talking up a storm, and I just pray that my youngest learns how to wipe his own ass. Because I’m NOT doing that when he’s 42, right? Milestones, people! I have a pamphlet that says my kid should have 2-3 word strings by now. Does this mean I’m a bad parent? No. I’ll place the blame squarely on shoulders of whom it belongs. On my 21 month old. Take that!

    I’m glad you’re blogging again! I’ve still never seen an episode of the Bachelorette, and thanks to you, I never will have to!

  2. Rachael March 24, 2012 at 9:47 pm #

    It’s nice to “catch up” with you! That’s awesome about your business!

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