Attention Whore

10 Jun

Okay, first of all, can we take a second to acknowledge that, Holy Hairy Monkey Balls, this kid is going to be out of my body is less than 60 days.

Dood.

There are a lot things that I’m going to miss once this pregnancy is over (as I am going to give my doctor precise instructions to sew up my baby hole the minute I’m done birthing all there is to birth. There is no in or out of that area. Closed. Going Out of Business. Foreclosed, even.)

I’ll definitely miss feeling the little dude flopping around inside of me and having that bond with him that no one else gets to have. (The stretching straight out of my body until my abdominal muscles scream in agony? Uh, not so much.)

Another thing I’ll miss, and don’t take this the wrong way because I swear, despite this post title that I’m not an attention whore, is all the positive attention you get while you are noticeably pregnant.

I feel the need to specify “noticeably” because that is a whole other post about how ridiculous the “I swear I’m not fat, I’m building a baby!” stage is.

Anywho, let’s be honest: pregnancy attention is awesome. Everyone dotes on you (or they should, at least), complete strangers become magnetically drawn to you and start “how cute are you” conversations out of no where, and in general, everything is pretty mama-centric for 6-9 months.

Because, don’t kid yourself, the minute you pop that kid out of your lady garden, even your closest friends and family will forget your name. To this day, when I arrive at my parents’ house, I swear the folks greet Mr. Bee and Bee immediately and then about a half hour later realize that I’m there, too!

But the thing that I’ll really miss are those random, friendly smiles you get from complete strangers out in public. I’m normally one of those people that will shoot you a smile when I pass you in the mall, but typically in response will get a what-chu-lookin-at glare or a do-I-know-you questioning glance.

However, add in the big, cute belly and obvious gestation of human life and all of a sudden everyone is your best friend! Nothing is sweeter to me than to have some random lady glance at my orca belly and give me a big ol’ sweet grin.

Soon my giant gestation-ness will be replaced with dumpy post-pregnancy-ness. And god knows, no one likes a frumpy and, let’s face it, probably un-showered mom with a newborn.

Let’s just hope this kid is as adorable as Bee so I’ll get a little forgiveness for my appearance and people won’t completely forget I exist. Hopefully more than just my odor will remind them…

Song title: Attention Whore by My Evolution

One Response to “Attention Whore”

  1. Erin June 10, 2010 at 9:52 am #

    Wow! Almost here!

    Something about moms with babies always gets me to give them the same reactions you are talking about. “How old?” “Awwww…..soooo cute” and other annoying things I say. But to get those, you sorta have to leave the house. Ick.

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