Lesson #2: You thought you had food issues before getting pregnant…
So, you just found out you’re pregnant. Congrats? Let the slow descent in to your own personal hell begin.
If you are four to six weeks pregnant, I thoroughly recommend binging on all of your favorite foods right this second.
No, really. We’ll wait.
…
…
Done shoving all that yummy-ness in to your pie hole?
Great. Because in approximately 12 seconds, before you know what’s hit you, every single food item will sound absolutely nauseating.
And I’m not just talking about thinking that your favorite tuna noodle casserole isn’t really hitting the spot right now. I’m talking every. single. food. item making you want to retch.
It starts off slowly. One day you just aren’t very hungry. No big deal, right?
But the next day, things start to kind of ick you out.
Pretty soon, you’ll be watching television and spot this on 112 commercials per minute:
Instead of being arguably mouth-watering, something as simple as a burger reminds you of this:
[imagine photo of dog poop here]
I would’ve posted a disgusting photo of a dog pooping, but the photos on Google Images have (1) scarred me for the rest of my life, (2) most definitely will cause some really fucking disturbing pregnancy dreams tonight, and (3) made me throw up in my mouth a lot.
So buckle down, ladies. We’ve only have about eight more weeks of this until we switch from hating all food to eating all food.
Holy shit. That’s like TWO MONTHS.
Fuck.
Song title: Alien Food by The Alien Kids
8:31 am on December 10th, 2009
I threw our breakfast out the car window while on a car trip when I was about 13 weeks pregnant. We got it into the car and I tossed the entire bag of McD’s out. I was quite hungry and had ordered what I thought sounded good. Husband wasn’t too happy.
9:22 am on December 10th, 2009
I feel for ya girl, I just got over it. For two months I couldnt eat the same thing twice. When I would finally find something that I could stomach, for some reason the next time I thought about eating the exact same thing it made me want to barf. Try coming up with something unique for 3 (or 6?) meals per day for two months. It makes for some very interesting menu planning… Good luck, I wont lie, it sucks greasy monkey balls, and it will probably get worse before it gets better, but… it’s all worth it!
10:23 am on December 10th, 2009
The first five months of my pregnancy were like a really bad hangover–only I didn’t get to drink the night before. Spinning and barfing all day. I just hope your baby makes it worth your while and comes out cute.
10:24 am on December 10th, 2009
One word. ZOFRAN
It saved my life with Addison.. seriously. I would have been hospitalized for dehydration without it! Call your DR and get some!
10:35 am on December 10th, 2009
I agree with Arla-Shay.
Ugly babies are totally not worth it.
3:23 pm on December 10th, 2009
My problem was I was unable to eat anything but ravenous at the same time. So I had to force down some food because I actually suffer more when I’m hungry than barfy. For me, for some reason, the more spicy the better, and so mexican food (taco bell with fire sauce) and those doritos with insanely hot spicy stuff on them. Then I went through a butter on noodles phase, can’t get much more bland than that. but it was a battle, and it may not be 8 weeks. My second pregnancy morning sickness only lasted 2 weeks so think positive!
8:22 pm on December 13th, 2009
I have been vomiting for 18 weeks, I’m 19 weeks now and I’m FINALLY starting to feel more normal. Unfortunately for me, I felt nauseous all the time but all the food ads? STILL LOOKED GOOD. But I couldn’t actually EAT anything. ARGH! I am having spicy tolerance too, mexican food, spicy doritos. I hope that yours goes away QUICKLY.