Mom to Bee

Backup title for this week’s post “I feel like I made a mistake. I was honest.” Also Monica: “This is where I’ll be Mama Bear. Fuck her!” Can you believe that Ben and these crazy bitches have been in our lives for a whole sweet month already? This week, everyone travels to Park City, Utah [...]

As we visit week 3 (sorry for the delay folks), we join Bachelor Ben and his League of Evil Suitors in California, this time in Ben’s “home town” (he seems to have many) of San Francisco. Here, Ben has some soda with his sister and declares that she would LOVE Courtney, the evil bitch queen, [...]

Episode 2 of the Bachelor Ben Bananza brings us to tasty, wine-soaked Sonoma so the girls can get a taste of what it will be like uprooting their lives to live where Ben lives. Because great and lasting relationships always start like that, right? One person sacrificing everything to fit in to a perfect little [...]

Hi there! I think we might know each other? I write in this crusty and damp part of the photosphere that I like to call Mom to Bee…Have you heard of it? Tens of people used to read it, you know, before I went on an unannounced and unexpected blog sabbatical. Also, this post will [...]

Can I tell you how I feel about micro-managing, egotistical, know-it-all power-tripping bitchfaces? I pretty much hope that they all get herpes covered in genital warts on their face from Santa.   Needless to say, there is more coming soon on this story. Stay tuned… Song title: Merry F**kin’ Christmas (Live) by Denis Leary

Bee: “Mommy! My baby (doll) said something!” Yeah, what’d she say? Bee: “Get to a better state. State Farm!” Song title: TV Baby by Bif Naked

Organizing my closet by color makes me happier than it probably should. Song title: The Color Of Love by Boyz II Men

Most of the time, I can’t figure out how to explain to childless individuals how simply amazing being a mom can be. I think this may work though: Last night, as I was putting Bee to sleep by singing our nightly songs (SEVEN songs, to be exact), Bee declared that she was mad. You see, [...]

DISCLAIMER: I’m pretty sure this post has PMS written all over it, so please feel free to skip it unless you enjoy hearing me bitch about people i don’t know. So the other day I was reading a blog that, get this, was complaining about their popularity. It seems this particular blog had so many [...]

I’m starting to get all nostalgic for all my c-section/surgeries I’ve had in the last year or so because I miss people covering me up with toasty blankets from the blanket warmer doohickey. I think that’s reason enough to get something cut open, right? Well, that and the drugs. Song title: Keeps My Body Warm [...]